100 dating tips

100 Dating Tips Online dating tips tricks and hints on how to be successful in keeping who you want around, and getting who you want in the first place. Sunday, August 7, 2011. The start of something good. Online dating in my opinion is the best way to find someone you actually like, before even meeting them in person. Dating Websites Best List. Keep up with dating tips, relationship advice, strategies, personal dating coaching, workshops, channels and videos, dating experts for men and women, dating advice websites and more by following top dating sites. 100 Dating Tips. Free. Dating is a mystery to most people, and some people are even relieved to get married just so they don't have to deal with the dating scene. There are a few people who thrive in the dating environment, but most men and women struggle to find the right dating relationship. In the span of one year, Holly Martyn did something that would make most people exhausted to even think about: She went on 100 ― yes, 100 ― dates. In 2014, after two divorces and a breakup with a boyfriend, Martyn said she was feeling sorry for herself. I’ve put together one hundred tips for dating with your self-esteem in tow. My suggestions will help you to be mindful, date with your eyes and ears open, to come from a place of personal security, and to be aware of what to look for when considering progressing from dating into a fully-fledged relationship. 1. All online dating sites differ, but as a general rule, if you start excessively going through any dating site looking for your 100% perfect match, you'll eventually find it more draining that ... 1. Four Tier Slim Cart – Use every inch of space that you have to your advantage! 2. Printable Laundry Guide – Darn it! This printable is no longer available 🙁 3. Check Your Pockets Jar – A place for all of the extra “treasures” that you find while doing the laundry. 4. DIY Coat Rack – The perfect addition to any mudroom or laundry space to hang all of your coats and bags on. Speed dating is a method of dating people utilized to meet multiple people in a short period of time in an effort to find a good match. Usually for speed dating, you’ll have anywhere between 5 and 10 minutes to get to know someone enough and determine if there’s any kind of good chemistry.

Male dating strategy

2019.10.28 00:17 Rahvenar Male dating strategy

FemaleDatingStrategy but with a twist.
[link]


2020.09.24 16:37 roboto_jones Built my First PC as 31st Birthday to Myself - My Full Experience : Specs, Purchase (from Australia), 7 hours live-streamed Build, NO POST, Troubleshoot, & Lesson - Super Long Post!

Photos of my FIRST PC Build! & a photo of me with the laptop it's replacing!
Story:
Initially I wanted to buy a pre-built PC for my 31st birthday but after reading some comments and posts (especially here on buildapc), I decided to build one myself - to save some $$$ but to also as a learning experience; oh boy did I learn some lessons.
The PC was built to replace my aging 2013 ASUS G750JX.
Primary use is for Gaming - WoW: Shadowlands, Cyberpunk 2077, Halo : Infinite, & Assassin's Creed : Norway Simulator. No Microsoft Flight Sim here. Secondary for Work - Autodesk Revit, Rhinoceros 5, 3DS Max, SketchUp, & Vray. Occassionaly for Streaming and Video editting - Twitch Studio, Adobe Rush.
After watching/reading a lot of guides, parts selected, and parts arrived - I decided to live-stream my entire build: YouTube link of my stream reduced from 7 hours to 1 hour.
I also thought I'd share my experience with you guys by making a SUPER LONG post.
So like days when games guides were giant TXT files from GameFAQS, I divided this into CHAPTERS!

Chapters:
A001 - PC SpecsA002 - Specs Lesson / Alternates OptionsB001 - Budget Info & Store Choice - from an Australian buyer perspectiveB002 - Spec vs Price Comparison - at time of purchase on August 22B003 - Delivery & Arrival date of Packages - Guess which package arrived the quickestC001 - Build Guides - some tutorials that I found usefulD001 - My 7 hours Build - Live Streamed!D002 - NO POST! & Troubleshooting - with the help from one of my viewers.E001 - Post-Build & General Lessons LearntE002 - Next Upgrades Selection & WishlistF001 - Special Thanks & Shameless Self-Promo
Just Ctrl+F and search the code "AXXX" for that specific chapter and you'll jump right to it!

// A001 - PC Specs // PC Part Picker list : https://au.pcpartpicker.com/list/rXzGWb


// A002 - Specs Lesson / Alternates Options //
I won't go to Part-by-Part because honestly, I'm no expert - I'll link to a guide if I find one. These are just some of the things I noted after my build.
Choosing your Parts Lessons / Tips :

Alternate Options - Some parts I considering as alternate to fit a lower budget:


At time of purchase, the 30 GPUs Series were still rumored, with only leaked images. So I went with an RX 5700 XT because it felt like it was the best Bang for the Buck and that it would be a longer wait if I wanted the Nvidia 30 series or AMD 6000 series.
If time is not a constraint for you, I'd say it's definitely worth waiting for the new GPUs.

// B001 - Budget Info & Store Choice //
I initially wanted to buy a Pre-Built PC but after deciding to build my own, I just used the initial budget for my parts.
Being in Australia, a giant island away from everyone else, parts are more expensive. Most tech reviews will mention the USD prices and unfortunately it's not a 1:1 currency conversion - so set expectations accordingly.
I specifically chose these stores because I've made purchases from there before and they're local.
I wanted to order locally to avoid any international shipping and direct customer service if I faced any issues. I also just wanted to help out local stores as much as I could during this pandemic season - eventhough business for e-retailers are booming right now.
Other Australian stores worth checking out are: Mwave & PLE & SKYCOMP

// B002 - Spec vs Price Comparison //
A quick schedule I made for each parts by the selected AU Stores I've purchased from:
BOLD items are the lowest price found. Italics items were sold-out / pre-order listed.Prices shown were from purchase on August 25.Price listed as Australian Dollars - AUD$Price with (*) means the place I bought the part from.

Part / Store PCCG Scorptec Centrecom PCByte
CPU : AMD Ryzen 7 3700X 529 525 519* 525
MoBo : MSI MAG X570 TOMAHAWK WIFI ATX AM4 389 389 389* 389
MEMORY : Corsair Vengeance LPX 16 GB (2 x 8 GB) DDR4-3600 CL18 139 129 119* 149
GPU : ASUS Radeon RX 5700 XT 8 GB TUF Gaming 699 699 679 599*
SSD Storage : Kingston A2000 500 GB M.2-2280 NVME SSD 99 105 92 89*
HDD Storage : Western Digital Blue 2 TB 3.5" 5400RPM HDD 89 90 78* 85
PSU : Corsair RM (2019) 650 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply 199* 199 209 175
CASE : NZXT H510 ATX Mid Tower Case 159* 139 139 139
CPU COOLER : Corsair H100x 57.2 CFM Liquid CPU Cooler 169 159 159 145*
TOTAL PRICE PER STORE: 2471 2434 2383 2295
Standard Delivery: 21 Did Not Check 0 - Free! 10
TOTAL PRICE OF LOWEST & AVAILABLE PARTS = AUD$2296
By the cost comparison, PCByte was the best place to purchase IF they had all the stock - which sadly wasn't the case.
So I ended purchasing the parts from PCCG, Centrecom, PCByte separately, which the total parts costs was $1 higher than the total at PCByte. The most parts I ordered from was at CentreCom for their free delivery. PCCG was the only place that had the Case & PSU, so I ordered it from there as well.
AS A TEST, I ordered another 'Corsair Vengeance LPX 16 GB (2 x 8 GB) DDR4-3600 CL18' from AmazonUS for $99.20 + $16.50. To see how fast it would arrive and 32GB RAM would be great to have. Boy oh boy, the $4 savings than the price at CentreCom was not worth it.
TOTAL COST INCLUDING DELIVERY = AUD$2,442.70

// B003 - Delivery & Arrival date of Packages//
A summary from Order Date to Shipment Arrival for each store:

One thing to note for my orders with CentreCom & PCByte, I decided to pay via Bank Transfer to save from the 1-2% surcharge on payments made via PayPal or Credit Card but then it took those stores time to verify the payment has been received before shipping the order out.
PC Byte was quick to process the payment, only requiring a Transaction Receipt to verify. CentreCom took much longer which resulted in the slower shipment than the AmazonUS from Whitestown, Indiana, USA to Melbourne, Australia.


// C001 - Build Guides //
The number 1 that helped me was RTFM - READ THE FRIENDLY MANUAL. (Thanks Jay) Most of things you need to know on the part and how to install is mentioned in in their respective manual. There are general information that applies to each part but they can vary slightly from different manufacturers - so read carefully.
Again, I won't go through part-by-part guides. Just some guides & information that I found useful.
Here's some of the tutorial videos that helped me with my build:

// D001 - My 7 hours Build - That I Live Streamed! //
Here's an edited down version of the stream from 7 hours to 1 hour & minus the few times my recording dropped for some reason.
So I did watch all the guides and videos listed previous chapter. Also, read the manuals of most of the products online before even receiving the parcels. Still, I was a nervous a mess!
I did buy a whole set of tiny screw bits for $19 because it has that weird bendy bit for hard to reach spots. 100% not required at all, definitely an overkill on my part.
A simple breakdown of the video, this is NOT a guide - just a summary and some handy tips I recalled:
  1. Installed as much parts as you could onto the MoBo - the CPU, RAM, & NVME SSD.
    1. Make sure the CPU is placed oriented correctly!
    2. Check the RAM is installed in the right order! RAM may require some force!
    3. Make sure you got the right standoff for your NVME SSD. Don't leave one below in the middle of the NVME as it may damage it.
  2. Prepared the AIO CPU Cooler (Corsair H100X) - made sure the right brackets & mounting brackets were in place.
    1. Read the manual!
    2. Don't touch face of the cooler! Leave the cover on.
  3. Installed the fans onto the radiator - in a pull configuration. Just to make the fans visible honestly.
  4. Installed the radiator onto the radiator mounting bracket from case (NZXT H510).
    1. Check your case's manual!
  5. Recording Dropped! Prepared my case before I placed my MoBo.
    1. Install the IO Shield. Mine is pre-installed, so don't need to worry about it.
    2. Checked the right standoffs are in-place to receive my ATX MoBo. DON'T leave any unnecessary standoff on the case, it may DAMAGE your MoBo.
  6. Placed my MoBo into the case.
    1. Angle it slight for an easier insert.
    2. Screw it place. Don't force the screw! As long as it's secure, it's sufficient.
  7. Recording Returns! Installed my AIO Cooler (Corsair H100X).
    1. It has this weird earing mounting thing that hooks onto the existing bracket on the board.
    2. Make sure the logo/face of the AIO is oriented accordingly!
  8. Installed the radiator mount back into the case.
  9. Prepared my Fully Modular PSU - Again, RTFM - Read The Flippin' Manual!
    1. Installed the needed Cables.
    2. This where I should've installed my cable extensions, if I had any.
  10. Installed the PSU onto the case.
  11. Make sure to orient it correct! Mine was with the fan blowing to the bottom of the case.
  12. Took out the Hard Disk Drive Cage & screwed the HDD into the cage.
  13. In hindsight, should've done this first before the PSU as the cables got in my way.
  14. Your case may vary! Check your manual.
  15. CABLES TIME! Checked the orientation of where each cable would go from the back of the case and to the front.
  16. Again, read the manual!
  17. A good thing about my case (NZXT H510) is that the Front Panel connector comes in a handy single-piece bundle that makes it easy to connect.
  18. Connected all the MoBo cables. Always check the orientation! Look at the empty keys slot, any square face indents, clips, etc. Be careful!
  19. Installed my GPU (ASUS TUF RX 5700 XT) - it is a hefty boi.
  20. The GPU I chose has a 6pin+8pin PCIe Cable bit which confused me for a bit.
  21. I should've - READ THE MANUAL!
  22. Double Checked everything is securely installed
  23. Plugged into Power & Switch the PSU to On
  24. GPU LED turned on.
  25. No weird noises - thankfully!
  26. Pressed the Power Button AND...
// D002 - NO POST! & Troubleshooting - with the help from one of my viewers. //
NO POST! - Which sank my heart instantly.
Shoutout to one of my viewers, haxnetTech, who told me to look at the LED on the MoBo next to the RAM, which highlighted "DRAM" and basically guide me through the troubleshoot.
Because I had 4 sticks of RAM installed. The issue could've been a lot of things : RAM sticks might not have been seated securely, a faulty RAM stick or multiple of them, OR faulty Motherboard.
So troubleshooting began as follows:
  1. Removed all 4 RAM sticks.
  2. Reseat all 4 RAM. NO POST.
  3. Removed all 4 RAM again.
    1. Separated each pair based on their serial numbers - CentreCom pair and the Amazon pair.
  4. Installed the CentreCom pair in the A2 & B2. YAY! POST!
  5. Installed the Amazon pair in the A1 & B1. NO POST!
  6. Removed all the RAM and placed the Amazon pair in A2 & B2. NO POST!
  7. I did test each RAM individually in A2 and found only ONE of the Amazon pair was faulty.
    1. Because I wanted to return it, obviously I returned it as a pair.
  8. Removed the Amazon Pair and reinstalled the CentreCom pair. YAY! POST!
  9. Proceeded to install my Windows.
    1. Made sure to install the OS in the NVME SSD, NOT the HDD.
  10. After 7 hours live-stream, thanked my stream.
  11. Ate a Chicken Kebab.
My initial plan was to have 32GB Memory (4x 8GB) and having to return a pair, I ended up running off 16GB for a while.
I did have a concern that maybe I had issues with my A1 & B1 RAM slots on my MoBo, so I ended up ordering another pair 32GB Memory (2x 16GB) to fill out my remaining slot and test it out. Worst case, I'll just run off the A2 & B2 with the 2x 16GB pair.
MEMORY : Corsair Vengeance LPX 32GB (2X16GB) DDR4 3600 (PC4-28800) C18 1.35V Desktop Memory BlackCOST : AUD$222.00 + $15.80 Delivery - from SKYCOMP. The only Australian store that had stock.DELIVERY : Ordered - 08.09.2020. Arrived - 14.09.2020. 6 days.
RAM arrived, installed the 2x 16GB memory in A2 & B2. Installed the CentreCom 2x 8GB pair in A1 & B1. TADAA! I am officially running at 48GB Memory.

// E001 - Post-Build & General Lessons Learnt //
I spent most of the time after my live-stream tidying the cables at the back of the PC and setting up my usual software & games.
Tweezered Zip-tied all the loose cables as neatly as I could.
I did try and do some basic overclocking with some guides on YouTube and Guru3D recommendations BUT I don't think I will include it in here as I am not that well-versed on the topic.

So here are some lessons I learnt from my build, aside from some of the tips I mentioned in the previous Chapters:

// E002 - Next Upgrades Selection & Wishlist //
PC Building is an addiction, you'll immediately look at things that to upgrade your perfectly functioning setup. I am officially one of them.
I even made a schedule of my wishlist and store prices - in hopes that if there was ever I sale and huge price drop (in Australian Dollars AUD$) :

PARTS PCCG SCORPTEC CENTRECOM PCBYTE SKYCOMP MWAVE PLE
SSD STORAGE: Gigabyte AORUS NVMe Gen4 1 TB 329 319 299 299 296 329
RGB Case Fans: Corsair LL120 63 CFM 120 mm Fans 179 159 159 149 157 159 159
OR Lian Li SL120 119 139 Not Found Not Found Not Found 139 Not Found
3080 GPU: MSI GeForce RTX3080 VENTUS OC 1379 1379 1379 1379 1379
OR Gigabyte GeForce RTX 3080 10 GB AORUS MASTER 1639 1639 1639 1639
1440p Monitor: AOC CQ32G2E 599 499 499 499 477 499 525
OR ViewSonic VX3258-2KPC-MHD 499 499 499 508 499 499
With my type of work, high memory GPUs are great but a 3090 is ridiculously expensive of an expense - so a 3080 would be nice step up. I am happy enough with my current GPU to wait for next generation, maybe a 3080 Super or a 6000 Series ST model.
Reason why I included the monitors is because the current monitor setup provided by Work is a decent 1440 60hz monitor that's been colour calibrated. Great for work, not so much for gaming.
After my build, I won't be buying upgrades anytime soon. But hey, you can't have a dream without a goal.
// F001 - Special Thanks & Shameless Self-Promo //
Thank you for checking out my post - especially you guys that read ALL of it.
Special Thanks to:

For those interested and want to check out my stuff:

Thank you again! Much Love, Roboto.
submitted by roboto_jones to buildapc [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 16:11 equine-primate Y'all, this is hard. Newbie looking for some input/help

Posting from a throwaway/lurker account. This may get long, really just need to get it out there.
So, not sure where to start. My wife (30F) and I (30M) have been married for 10 years and have 2 kids together under the age of 5. We have been monogamous for the entirety of our marriage, or at least attempted to. There have been 2 occasions where I have found that she was hiding very deep emotional and romantic relationships from me that spiraled into her lying to me and sneaking away. These never turned into anything physical, but both times were a gut punch for me. Mostly because she was keeping things from me and lying. With the most recent relationship at the beginning of last year, I could see the joy and fulfillment she was getting from that. I offered to be open to letting that relationship continue on the condition that she was 100% open about where she was and how she was feeling. It quickly became apparent that relationship and ours was too steeped in shame and guilt to be sustainable. I asked her to cut it off to focus on us and she did, and we have done a lot of productive work in the last year to open up our communication.
In the last month or so, she confided in me that she fears she may be gay. She has known for a long time she is attracted to women, but recently began questioning her attraction to men at all. As the primary man, sexual partner in her life, and the father of her children, this is terrifying. At the same time, I love this woman deeply. The idea of her questioning herself and being miserable in our relationship for the sake of my comfort does not sit well with me. I've encouraged her to begin to explore this side of herself. We talk openly about why she has these feelings and what they mean for 'us'. The answer to most of those questions is simply 'I don't know'. She feels she needs to have the experience of being with another woman to know for sure. We are both terrified that this is going to "flip a switch" for her and she will effectively no longer see me as a romantic partner, but as a close friend. Neither of us wants that or has the intention or desire to leave our relationship. I've encouraged her to define what she wants as far as an experience with another woman, get on some apps and pursue that. Watching her get so excited when she gets a match, when someone says she is cute, when she gets a girls number. It all fills my heart with warmth and joy and I love it.
Then the fear and doubt comes. When she told me she may be gay/is attracted to other women, my first response was to tell her that I have always fantasized about her being with another woman, or the both of us with another woman. In hindsight, this was the worst thing I could have done and I fear it is casting a shadow over the joy I have when I see her putting herself out there. I am constantly questioning my motives for encouraging this. Yes, that is a fantasy of mine, but that extends to the next morning; waking up with my wife in a snuggle sandwich, getting up to make them breakfast in bed, seeing my wife glow when she is with another woman. There is the fear that I am treating this differently because she wants to pursue women rather than men and I am ok with that, where I wasn't with the previous affairs that were with men. We both fear that this kind of set up will come off as just unicorn hunting and neither of us are ok with that. I have expressed that I am fully supportive of her going on some dates and figuring things out without involving me.
Then I started lurking in this community and learning more about polyamory. This is my "everybody wins" scenario. My wife has many concerns about how healthy that would be, particularly for our kids. She fears that it would not be fair to me or the kids if she pursues what she sees as a selfish relationship and believes that she should leave our relationship to pursue that even though neither of us want her to leave. Last night, we began listening/reading The Ethical Slut and we both resonated with what was there and I have hope it will give us some good tools.

So, I guess to the point, are there suggestions from this community about how to handle the fear and anxiety around beginning to explore poly relationships? Are there any tips to combat this underlying fear that I'm actually just a homophobic pervert trying to get my wife to play out a fantasy? Anything you can suggest to support her in her search and journey? Any suggestions for how to handle the family aspect?
submitted by equine-primate to polyamory [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 16:00 amnonymous [Main] Girard Perregaux Laureato 42mm on Bracelet - 63 spots at $100/ea with no spot limit.

Item Name: Girard Perregaux Laureato 42mm on Bracelet
Price: $6300
# of Spots: 100
Price Justification: BNIB Sold July 12 $7300
Price Justification: Sold June 16 $6300
Price Justification: $6325 I assume sold
Price Justification: Sold June 15 $6250
Call spots? Sure!
Spot limit per person? 0
Location/Country: USA
Will ship international? yes
Timestamp/pics: https://imgur.com/a/zPIcPic
Escrow: no
Approval: 👯
Description: Up for raffle is a super fresh Girard Perregaux Laureato. This one is the 42mm size with a black hobnail dial. The look of the Girard-Perregaux Laureato follows closely along the lines of the original 1970s design but is reinterpreted with a modern flavor. The 42mm steel case is a real eye catcher, and its strong character is highlighted by well-finished details. Most of the surfaces are very finely brushed horizontally, while the case edge is delicately finished with a subtly chamfered polish. With the bezel, the finishes’ contrast between polished and brushed areas is spectacular and defines the watch. At the base, the bezel is round and polished. From the bezel’s cylinder, an octagonal shape is cut. The soft, curved edges are polished. There is nothing sharp, nothing incompletely finished. On the top, the face of the octagonal shape is circularly brushed with fine granulation. Seen from above, the watch has a warm pleasant combination of circular brush, polished surface and horizontal brush. The crown is large and easy to grip. It features an octagonal design to match the bezel. The black dial is a marvel. The “Clou de Paris” pattern fits excellently the 70s’ inspiration. This pattern has the ability to play with the light. Depending on the light source’s angle and viewer’s angle, the dial tends to lighten or darken the shade. The date window at 3 o'clock features the date in on a black wheel to match the dial. I absolutely love the font used for the date. It's just another small detail that makes this watch special. The movement is the in house GP01800-0013. It is beautifully hand finished with beveled edges and all sorts of embellishment. It also has a robust 54 hour power reserve. I appreciate that the movement is big enough to look right at home in the case back. All the links are present. Take a look at this watchbox video for a bit more on it and the watch. Full kit with box and papers from late 2018. Good luck!

PayPal Info: https://www.paypal.me/bespokeNY

Tip BoyAndHisBlob
Number of vacant slots: 80
Number of unpaid users: 10
Number of unpaid slots: 14
This slot list is created and updated by The EDC Raffle Tool by BoyAndHisBlob.
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submitted by amnonymous to WatchURaffle [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 15:45 navgogh I was a bulimic for 7 years and I am recovering now for 6 years.

Dear reader
This is my story for my bulimia and anorexia my anorexia was shorter lasting less then few months but my bulimia lasted for 7 years and I have been recovering for more then 6 years now. I wanted to write this story to tell people who are suffering from it currently how I got over or what it was like maybe you can relate maybe it will help you or maybe it is completely different this is the first time I have ever wrote or spoken about it outside of my family no one in my whole friendship group knows about it apart from my ex boyfriend.
so where did it begin? at the age of 15 I was so innocent all I remember is I always loved being outdoors I was really active I played skating I swam I would go in the forests this is before the internet so I am a 90s kid I lived a really free nature life then I started making friends with older people who were maybe 2 years older then me they somehow made me do a bet to loose weight we would see after 2 weeks who lost the most weight, during that time being slim was really in but I had no idea about this really I was just living in my own world but I did it without thinking and yes I have that secret competitive side that came out and for 2 weeks I drank coffee ate ruits and vegetables and lost a lot of weight. Thats how it all began my older friends started to congratulate me saying how they could see my bones how cool it was it made me feel like I achieved something it was kind of easy to loose weight at the beginning and I liked that feeling of succeeding at my target and also the praises but i didn’t know it would go so wrong. obviously I could not keep it up and i gained it all back after i started eating again then they told me about bulimia which again I didn’t know anything about I started to research and I found all these thinspo websites and tips on how to hide it how to puke there were and probably still is tips on how to make yourself sick can you imagine your younger sister or brothers or your child reading this? when will the internet have some type of laws! anyways so I had made a collection of all my favourite thinspos and basically self brain washed thinking that bones equal beauty being thin being frail being weak means beauty.
As you know being a teenager you kind of want boys to think you are pretty but why didn’t I have enough self belief that boys would like me why didn’t i realise how funny I was or how beautiful I already was how could I have allowed myself to be brain washed. I still wonder if it is the family or the environment, people or if it is a certain type of mental state of people that allows some to be easily persuaded.
Well then it began my bulimia it was small at first just one meal a day I would go and be sick I never felt like I was doing anything wrong, my friend was doing it and she told me it’s normal I believed her because she was older then me. My greed and hunger became larger so I started purging after every meal then I started eating more then I needed then I became addicted to eating that much and just it never stopped I did it at school even I was nearly caught I mean the teachers did find out but nothing came out of it even my parents knew. I think it was all kind of like out of not knowing anything about myself at first but then I would use it as an excuse to deal with my stress. I was in love with a boy at the age of 17 I lost my virginity to him and he made me feel like he loved me too but when he left me it all came back and even stronger I also started to go to university during that time. I was this heart broken mess who couldn’t see her real passion was art who couldn’t see her value in it and still to this day I am learning to value my talents. anyway so in those days I used to live in London so i would tell my house mates m going to uni but really I would go to the nearest mall binge all day having about 6 rounds of puking I would spend more then 100 pounds per day on food the money the government had given me to live I could afford that only because i was living in a one room with my friends and I only had to pay ra small amount. so yes I would lie about going to uni and at a point I had not gone to uni for 3 months because i had been continuously binging and living off the mall I would puke at the toilets at the station and one time a police even came in to check because I had been there so long so yea I felt so low those times I could not control myself at all I could not understand what was happening I could not even see this beautiful being that I was this young youthful person I should have been trying to fall in love find myself yet I was deeply in this addictive relationship with my food. I would feel so guilty I would feel like I would completely gain all my weight back and the fear of not feeling hungry made me feel like I ate too much I had to feel hungry that was the normal state. It was so bad that my stomach couldn’t actually digest food anymore anytime i had to eat food cause i was meeting someone and i could not puke it out it would hurt me and make funny noises. My body had basically shut down during these times I did feel like giving up so many times I thought death is the way out but of course I never actually wanted to and i never tried to but those suicidal thoughts were normal for me. Yes I was really depressed I had no feeling about my self at all I had no feelings at all I was numb to everything around me my mind only consisted of food so as you can imagine I didn’t learn anything at university even though I was studying art the thing I loved the most I could not do anything with it and I barely passed at the end it surprises me how I even got anything but I am still proud I passed out of it.
also i wanted to add mentally it makes you basically in this box where you make up rules about what makes you gain weight you believe it so much that you have gained weight then you kind of punish yourself. I would think I am so fat overtime I saw my body but now I realise how skinny I was I was almost half the size I am now and I had no fat at all but still I would cry thinking my arms are fat and belly is fat. those thoughts and the pain of hunger at night just constantly thinking about food I never got to sleep properly. I also lost any close relationships with family and friends my baby sister was only about 3 and I have no memories of my other sisters too I wonder all the pain and suffering and gave to my parents to my sisters what if it is me that causes my mum to hoard or my parents to fight I don’t know I would eat all their food everyday they had nothing left.
so I had been sick everyday for years and years and suddenly I had started to date someone really kind to me who loved me a lot and this was the first time I decided to open up and tell him about the things I did for him it must have been so strange he couldn’t understand, he would notice that I would suddenly look skinnier some days if I hadn’t seen him for a long time and he would comment but now he realised why I kept fluctuating so because he was so accepting of my illness and I was really in love I started to think about our future and if we would ever have kids how could I raise my kid like that? so that feeling kind of made me feel passionate about something else outside of food and weight it made me realise there was something more important than this so I managed to slowly stop myself I even stopped smoking cold turkey too. It took me a long time I couldn’t just stop I did it gradually just eating healthy and just allowing my body to adapt eating again at first it was such a strange feeling I didn’t know when was the right time to eat I didn’t know what was enough full, and what was too full I was afraid of becoming really obese but I never did I just went back to my normal weight that I always was at the beginning so now I am at a really healthy weight. I can’t lie it took so long as I tell you I am still recovering now and at times when I am stressed out sometimes it leaks out and I binge again but it is so rare it is never how it used to be and I am never harsh on my body. I kind of stopped trying to calculate how much fat or calories it had or try to see how it was made so I just started by eating my mums food because I knew it was home made and healthy then I just ate food that were healthy like brown bread, chicken, vegetables and I just kept building up.
I still think though mentally I haven’t had time enough to grow the age that I should have taken to understand myself work on my art work on my skills i used it up doing all that so I do feel like I have not turned into the full woman I should be. If i could go back I would tell the younger me how beautiful I was how funny and courageous how kind and sweet how talented how adventurous I was and am I don’t need to prove to anyone but just to myself I always had people who loved me. Through bulimia I have lost all my school friends I just couldn’t keep up with them but after I recovered the friends i have made have been so special to me it gave me more confidence that I can restart my life I can find happiness in other things. I eat almost anything I want but I am generally healthy I allow myself to eat junk food if I want to i just listen to what my body wants. I do yoga at times or meditate I run I just love feeling so strong so healthy so happy with my stomach and never feeling hungry what a great feeling to just always feel perfectly full. I wanted to write all this down to let it go this was my past but I want to do something good out of it I wanted to help someone if you are going through this madness please know it is within you I did it I was so into it I was non stop doing it but I just believed in myself just try and get out of your head everything is in your head. but when you get out you will realise nothing you thought about yourself was real at all. I still have a lot of things to work on I still dunno if i fully feel myself or love myself to the point i want to but it’s ok I can get there someday it’s ok I am just trying. I hope you will be able to as well.
Thank you.
submitted by navgogh to u/navgogh [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 14:51 RSurvivorMods WSSYW 2020 Countdown 29/40: Cambodia

Welcome to our annual season countdown! Using the results from the latest What Season Should You Watch thread, this daily series will count backwards from the bottom-ranked season to the top. Each WSSYW post will link to their entry in this countdown so that people can click through for more discussion.
Unlike WSSYW, there is no character limit in these threads, and spoilers are allowed.
Note: Foreign seasons are not included in this countdown to keep in line with rankings from past years.

Season 31: Cambodia - Second Chance

Statistics:
  • Watchability: 3.9 (29/40)
  • Overall Quality: 8.0 (11/40)
  • Cast/Characters: 8.5 (9/40)
  • Strategy: 8.9 (4/40)
  • Challenges: 7.6 (9/40)
  • Theme: 9.4 (3/23)
  • Ending: 8.3 (15/40)
WSSYW 10.0 Ranking: 29/40
WSSYW 9.0 Ranking: 16/38
WSSYW 8.0 Ranking: 16/36
WSSYW 7.0 Ranking: 17/34
Top comment from WSSYW 10.0HeWhoShrugs:
As with all returnee seasons, I'd advise watching the prior seasons before this one just because the theme of second chances depends on knowing why these 20 people failed and understanding the stakes at hand.
Now, I'm not a fan of the season at all. I watch the show for characters and stories more so than for the gameplay and strategy, and this season is basically all the latter and very little of the former after a couple episodes. A lot of people you'll be excited to see will either be out early or get no airtime despite lasting a while, and most of the stories will be derailed or end in a totally unsatisfying way by the end. The gameplay is more intense and has a lot of "big moves" but there isn't much in the way of a plot connecting any of them, so it feels more like a series of random eliminations than a coherent season.
That being said, the challenges and art direction are really good and location is fun and new, so it's not a total dud to me. Just a disappointment based on what I watch the show to see.
Top comment from WSSYW 9.0ContentDetective:
Don't start with this season because every player is a returning player. Nonetheless, has some of the most famous moments in survivor, alongside great characters and strategy.
Top comment from WSSYW 8.0JustJaking:
Cambodia is a divisive season – some adore it for being the most strategically complex season to date, but others resent it for not fully servicing all of the returning cast.
Major theme: Inconsistency. Everything is in flux – alliances, friendships, legacies and the format.
Pros: Strong gameplay from a cast who all show up to correct previous mistakes, backstabbing left and right in what they know to be a zero sum game. Strong stories for the major characters. Constant unpredictability each episode. New heights in gameplay, and renewed importance for the basic social game.
Cons: Even though everything we do see is enjoyable – the cast all deserve to return – some great players get lost in the edit, and the narrative doesn’t always have time to go back and properly explain moves.
Warning: Even though Cambodia sets the tone for later seasons, it majorly spoils earlier ones. If you want a feel for ‘postmodern Survivor’ try S33 instead. Also don’t watch the cast selection clip from the S30 reunion if you don’t want additional spoilers.
Tip: If you do watch Cambodia before seasons 1, 2, 7, 12, 15, 18, 19, 25 of 27-30, check out this minimal spoiler guide before starting.
Top comment from WSSYW 7.0anthonyd46:
I wouldn't recommend this one unless you have watched a good amount of seasons before this. Seasons 20-30 at least since a lot of the cast is from those seasons. Alot of is tied to revisiting your past and stuff and if you don't know the past it might get confusing on these players back stories.

Low/Mid-Tier Seasons

29: S31 Cambodia
30: S23 South Pacific

The Bottom Ten

31: S38 Edge of Extinction
32: S40 Winners at War
33: S8 All-Stars
34: S5 Thailand
35: S36 Ghost Island
36: S24 One World
37: S26 Caramoan
38: S34 Game Changers
39: S39 Island of the Idols
40: S22 Redemple Temple

WARNING: SEASON SPOILERS BELOW

submitted by RSurvivorMods to survivor [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 10:34 Enchanted_99 After nearly 500 matches, here is my feedback.

Tl;dr: Long time player. Patch aim assist bugs. Balance weapons/hacks. Add a bootcamp mode for new players. Console QOL fixes. Better skins/better pricing for skins. Better advertisement. More lore for us nerds.
----------------------
So I'd like to preface everything I am about to say by stating: I REALLY love this game and I am praying for its success. Everything from the lore, to the animations, to the new takes on sectors/zones, fusions/weapon rarity, reviving teammates, and overall movement shooter style, I absolutely adore.
I didn't know much of this game during the beta. I seen a few clips around YouTube, and Twitch. Got an ad here or there, but I didn't know it was even coming to console until the literal release date when I saw a good portion of my friends on the game and one of them heavily recommending it to me. And my God was the launch pretty big.
I hopped into the game and immediately started working on my settings. I was just as bad as my new friends but I told them to give me a week and I'd be good at the game. And I was. I'm now sitting at a top 0.4% K/D. Top 0.3% Wins. Top 0.7% Win rate. I played the meta, or close to it. I played with the Hex and Ripper, and the Slam and Heal. Bugs were annoying but tolerable. I got the audio bug more times than I can count. I got the bug where I couldn't pick things up a handful of times. I got disconnections, server errors, etc. Patches came in, audio bug got rarer. Overpowered weapons received their nerfs. The devs cared about the game. I switched my loadout and adapted to new metas. The game is fun.
But where did it fail? And is it savable?
The short answer is a lot of places, and yes.
The long answer:
Well first I feel this game is very hard to get into. A lot of the community will tell you they hate SBMM and rightfully so. I could write you an essay on why SBMM is bad. But when I tell you I, a legitimate hater of SBMM, feel bad for killing actual bots, there's a problem. I'm imagining this player hops into a lobby, dies to me. Hops into another lobby dies to the sweat squad there. Does it 4 or 5 more times and uninstalls the game and never watches it on Twitch.
The answer: A bootcamp playlist. Maybe the first 50 matches are matched with other first 50 match players. This number can vary, but it would be wonderful to have. Perhaps even a deathmatch gamemode with multiple lives where respawns exist and its purely to hone in skill in aim, chasing/escaping and using hacks.
Another issue is console gameplay fluidity. First off, FOV is trash but the devs know this. Secondly, why do we only get 3 emotes? We pay for them.
The answer: Turn the emotes/holotags into a wheel, allowing for more emotes/holotags and simultaneously freeing up dpad spaces. Now allow us to bind ping to a dpad button, and get a quick melee button on R3. This will make me not have to stop in the midst of a fight to hold triangle and melee a heal (just to accidentally miss somehow).
Another issue is bugs. I know the dev team works hard to patch bugs but.. the aim assist on this game on console somehow hurts just as much as it helps. It literally will push my aim away from a target, preventing me from getting on them. If that player is even half as good as me they will win that fight unless I reset.
Another issue is cooldown/weapon balancing. The dev team did a lot of balances in patch 1.1 but nothing pushed out on patch 1.2. PC players are having to endure a Riot One/Shockwave combo which allows players to simultaneously land a Riot shot combined with Shockwave to do a burst damage of upwards of 84 when maxed. One more body shot with a Riot will kill them. Invisibility and Invulnerability alone are nothing too intolerable but paired together and maxed the two practically make you self sufficient until the other comes back. Anyone with half a brain cell and good movement can run back and forth on the map without dying using this combo.
Another huge issue is skins. Why is $15 skin a recolor of a free skin? Or vice versa. Why does the refract bundle cost $32 when it doesn't even look that good, besides the fact they are at least the same and you can match all your weapons. The skins cost too much for not even being that special.
The fix: Make animated skins. This game is a videogame within a video game. It does not have to be realistic. Animate a lot and charge more for those. Make some dope looking skins. Ace Hotshot looks awesome, Javi Rebel is pretty flashy too. The G Force skin is animated, but lackluster for its price point. Make some awesome skins. Add other trademarked Ubisoft characters into the game. Let me play as Ezio running around Neo Arcadia. If it's a full-dive game you should be able to customize your avatar to be anything, so nothing is out of the picture. Weapon skins too. Animate the refract bundle. Make it glow. Make it a reactive camo according to how many kills you get with it. Then charge $32 for the bundle. Use this money for the next tip.
Another issue is advertisement. When a new Season of Apex comes out I don't hear the end of it and I don't even like Apex. With this game I hear it only got like 30 seconds to 60 seconds of screen time during a virtual Ubisoft event. How are you going to get players like that.
The fix: Make something awesome for S2. Tease it. Tease the player rankings and how awesome they'll look on your account to drive players back into wanting to climb the ladder. Tease awesome skins. Show the just a leg of the tier 100 skin looking awesome. Show the animation on the skin, or it's different reactive phases. Hype it up. Hype anything up.
Capitalize on the lore. Why are there no character interactions despite there being lore behind characters? Javi and Ace run games together a lot. Maybe a little conversation or word exchange between them before the match starts or when one gets a kill, or when they win together. Takeshi is a total simp for Ace. Make him excited when they finally get to squad up together.
Please put more work into the game. It is the highest potential battle royale out there on the market, with a poor execution. I would honestly work for this Dev team for free to connect them with the community and tell them everything they want added to the game.
submitted by Enchanted_99 to HYPERSCAPE [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 09:39 AnonymouslyHere_876 I was abused and I am letting it all out today.

I am a 23Y, male with a past that I just don't like. I have had these stories with me for all my life and the first one even my parents don't know. I stumbled onto this subreddit from my main and I knew I had to post this here. I just wanted to let out my story, just because this seems the safest place to let out by having anonymity and free expression. Thanks to the founder, those who maintain this subreddit and those who express concern and extend support.
I have come to terms with my self and I feel this doesn't affect my mental state, but I know for a fact that this is what caused me to be immune to hurt, crying in the first place. These experiences have basically formed what I call my mentally stable self.
I feel I have everything sorted because I am so logical and I overthink everything to its "perfection". I feel I must lay this out because I want you to know what a bad childhood experience makes you.

  • First: *
I went to an all boys boarding school in grades 3 to 6. There was this dominant guy (lets say X) and he had his gang of the "alpha males", whom you could say who were the bullies of the class and they liked all the sports and all. I was kind of a timid person and was friends with all the class nerds who were into Pokemon and other stuff. I had one difference though: I, within a year after admission, became a sex toy for X and few of his friends.
Now, we lived in dorms and had a lot of beds in there. And although the beds were assigned by rollnumbers, groups of friends used to sleep in their 'territories'. Whenever it'd be lights out time at night and everyone would be asleep he would whistle or make some sound to call me to his bed. I had to take of my shorts, get under my bed and crawl to him. X's and his adjoining bed were set up in such a way that X could lie over the gap on his stomach with arms spread to balance him and have his penis hanging down towards me. I would then proceed to suck him off. He would moan and idk how no one ever heard him. He would slap me, use whatever abusive words he knew at the time. Some of the days he would call me up on his bed and under his blanket. He would then proceed to jerk me off, suck on me and lick me and grope like literally every where. We never had penetration thank god, but I have done to him like every other thing. I do (vividly) recall him ejaculating over my chest, in my mouth or in the pocket of my topwear night suit.
After I was done servicing him, I would be called upon by any of the 4 other boys who were allowed to 'enjoy' me once a week and on all holidays in case I stayed back, which was the case for most holidays of length 1-10days given that my parents were abroad. It seemed pointless to travel abroad only for a week.
Anyways, all this continued everyday, for the period of 3-4 years and ended on the night before last day of school. Everyone of the 5 guys used me like shit throughout that night and I remember my face, my hair, my hands and my backside being 100% wet from sperms and spit. They took turns and jerked off over me, then had me suck them, humped me between my butt cheeks and also, made me ejaculate a bunch of times, back to back. All this happened under and over their beds. Even though it was a tight space and we were clumsy I distinctly remember feeling afterwards that I had someone's penis somewhere on me the entire time. After we finished, we sneaked into the bathrooms. X and I got into the same stall and that was for the last time, that we did sexual stuff. He did everything to me, all over again. He washed me head to toe. He used soap to make mine and his penis smooth and get a better feeling when jerking off. We were, of course the last ones to leave and I slept, with a smile on my face this time because it was all over. He wasn't there to be seen the next day as parents flocked all over the campus. My parents arrived at lunch and I left with them..with X's last memory being with him naked and kneeling down infront of him as he ejaculated over my face.
I must mention, I was awarded the highest scholarship based on grade 4 exams, I also stayed in the top 5% percentage of the class, I was a member of the junior badminton team and part of the junior swimming team. I held good records in elocution and debate and I feel my academic was so good because I used to just study and get engaged with many many things so that I don't think about the stuff I gotta do at night. This may have been why he chose me, to feel above me i guess?
The sadder part is, by the time I left school, I had developed a stammer (which I have to this day. Its not extreme but I often get stuck on some words) and my scores in class 6 were only "satisfactory".
  • Second:*
This happened to me during the first and second years of UG college. I was part of a technical society where I spent most of my bachelor's. There was this other kid who had a better rank in entrance exam, he was the second topper of my branch and we just became good friends. Now I must say that I have been a 'childish' kid always. Like, I feel like I am not as mature as the other kids around me, given that I like really enjoy memes and am more into the funny than the serious. Anyways, we had a good friendship. Given that I found such a passion for the field, I like to keep up with the trends and try out various projects and whatnot. This guy, say Y, was the mature part of our friendship. Now that I think about it, he was a guy of rote learning and he just had a dominating personality. Anyways, by the second semester he seemed to have become obsessed by me. He wanted to know everything happening in my life, and I didn't feel that weird because well he was my best friend afterall and you just want to share, right? It slowly got to a point where he insisted I sleep in his room because we'd be doing projects till late at night and I agreed bcz I felt lazy to go back to my room which was one floor below his. I did say I was kinda childish right? So, I had developed a habit of being a lazy and too-carefree guy, so much so that I always had less than the required attendance and had to provide fake medical certificates to be eligible to sit fot exams. I developed a habit of being very very sleepy in mornings and in classes.
Now I am moving to second year, and I must say, I was a dumb dumb guy to choose him as my roommate. I'll skip to the day when I realised what A SHIT of a LIFE I had been living till then. I was in near fourth semester and one afternoon I woke up in a very very horny state and a feeling of a hand on my butt hole (I had been wearing clothes). While I was sleepy I saw Y standing there as if he is waking me up to go get something to eat. I was ofcourse sleepy and went back to sleep right then. I again woke up in like 10 or so minutes and saw Y wanking off on his bed. We locked eyes for a min and I immediately closed my eyes to avoid awkwardness and somehow even went off to sleep. Later in the evening I confronted him and asked him indirectly and politely if he was like touching me before? I made the phrasing somewhat like.."see i had a very realistic thing happen to me and I felt someone's hand on my behind. Now, it may be a dream..dont get offended okay..i am just asking did u like did u actually touch me before i caught u wanking?". I dont distinctly remember his immediate reaction which was definitely not same as the one that followed a few min. later. He ended up weeping and saying how i could even say shit like that to him and etc. Things ended with me believing that it was just a weird bad wet dream and he was just wanking off to porn.
Now around a week later, idk why but I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and felt someone standing on my bed, and moving my blanket from over my stomach. I sleep with my full body inside the blanket and the person moved only the stomach area. It is here that I should have moved my blanket from over my face to see what was going on but at that moment I remember feeling blank like uhh what the actual fuck is going on..I didn't do anything. I just, laid still. The hand moved away my blanket and then my bedsheet. Then I felt both hands slide into my shorts which were pulled down to my knees by both hands along with my underpants. You must be thinking why I didn't react at all here. I didn't because I had thought that whoever that was would like choke me or kill me if I moved and they felt they were caught. They wanted me to be asleep and I pretended to be asleep. I agree and I hate my self for not taking action but I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. I judge my self everyday and thats it.
Anyways, the guy removed my underwear and then thats it - I was naked, exposed to the chilly air under the fan. He proceeded to slide his hand onto my penis, he stroked it, and pulled and explored me like he knew what he what he was doing. He grabbed my flaccid penis with two fingers, and began stroking me up and down and up and down. He hadn't gotten a few strokes in when I came, so hard like I had never before. And mind you, I came without yet being erect. He had now made me cum onto my genital hair and cum was flowing down my body...He suddenly stood up, ripped a page from a notebook somewhere and wiped me off. What makes me hate the human body is that despite being used and feeling disgusted, I enjoyed that orgasm. After wiping me, he massaged my penis, my balls with such expertise and tenderness that I got erect in a few seconds. He then sat down and then bent in between my feet, pulled my penis so that it pointed towards his mouth, his lips touched and he pulled at my foreskin, and began licking ever so slowly, but steadily. In some time I was engulfed, all of my 8 inches in his throat. That guy, now had one of his hand on my right nipple and one of the other (idk how, but it was lubricated) circling by butthole. He slid the tip of his finger and it went in and I tightened and was at the very peak of being horny. I had never experienced this level of eroticism and I had never inserted anything up my butt. I had never woken up horny and have someone service me so this entirely new thing just made me horny and equally scared. I had watched some good porn before but never did feel such a level of.."oohh gaawdd". It was then that I ejaculated, and kept doing so for like a long long time. I remember I started literally crying loudly out of the disgust as I let out stream after stream into his throat. He was startled with my crying sound and moved his head away..but I kept on going still for a few more streams of sperm. He then stood up and ran into his bed (yes, into the one adjacent to me). I laid there as my horniness subsided, and still crying, I exlaimed I just said to him you motherfucker, you are dead to me.
I woke up, went into the bathroom and had a shower (3AM) and just ran up to another good friend's room who became my best friend and genuine life support till date. I cried for like an hour that day, because: I was betrayed by my best friend, I had a flashback of my time at boarding school and that I somehow enjoyed the orgasm for that guy and didn't stop him at all. I felt I should have beaten him up or done something...but I didn't. I told my friend whatever happened and he told me to get some rest and all. I laid down but didn't sleep. Got up from bed at 6AM and called my father and told him over the phone. As the day started, Y came up to where I was. He was crying and all apologetic. My friend asked him to fuck off and that was it. I remember having a hammer in my hand and in case he came close to me I was determined to murder him right then and there. I however didnt. My father was with me by the next evening and I moved out of my old room, and into my friend's. He did try to coax me into friendship and get me back into the room but I had moved on.
When I thought about it, I then began to realise that he used to do this to me the entirety of third semester, and it may have started in the second/first semester when he started asking me to sleep in his room. He must have somehow found that I am a deep sleeper and well...This guy was the reason that I, a punctual kid became a guy who felt sleepy all day and missed his classes.
Well its been two years and I now sleep very light. I have become very, very aware of my surroundings and have days where I wake up crying. I feel insecure in relationships but yes, I am slowly and slowly outgrowing this thing.
I have one question..What exactly is the thing that drew these guys towards me? It can't be because I am good in academics and extracurricular. I just don't know and that's what scares me to this day.
Furthermore, I am a male and I feel we are supposed to not be so expressive and shit. But see, I don't care now. I have decided in last couple of years that I will do whatever I want. I have decided that if I experience any more of these exploits, I will make sure to leave that person neutered. I don't care if I get beaten up, I will not hesitate and not stop till I beat that person's face, till I fracture their limbs and till, I personally neuter them.
PS: I read the entire thing again and yes, I have expressed the sexual part in great detail but hey, I don't care. I wrote what I saw and experienced.
PPS: In case you recognize who I am and think that you wanna talk to me about it, please DONT. I am writing this here to be anonymous. (this is a stretch, but I feel this is important)
PPPS: I don't know if this is actually the right place for this amd I don't know if you will believe such a thing can happen...but it did happen and I know it did.
submitted by AnonymouslyHere_876 to rape [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 09:01 bat-bet Bayern Munich vs Sevilla

Bayern Munich dominantly won the Champions League last season, as they were booking nothing but victories in that campaign. Many of you saw their memorable 8:2 win over Barcelona in the quarter-finals. The German champions picked up where they left off, and they celebrated a terrific 8:0 victory over Schalke 04 in the Bundesliga season-opener. Robert Lewandowski and the lads keep terrorizing opponents’ goalkeepers, as the best team in Europe scored 100 goals in the last season only in the domestic championship. Hans-Dieter Flick’s side is in a tremendous streak of 23 victories in a row in all competitions, and they want to keep up the form.
Sevilla is the “queen” of the Europa League, as this team managed to lift their sixth trophy in the competition. Although many people considered Inter as favorites in the finals, the Spanish side celebrated a 3:2 win and delighted its fans. Sevilla hadn’t lost from the very same date in February when their rivals started their winning spree. That excellent streak launched them to the 4th position in La Liga, and Sevilla will compete in the Champions League group stage this season. Julen Lopetegui’s side hasn’t been too efficient in the final third, but their defensive work is pretty good as Sevilla conceded only 34 goals in the domestic championship. It is going to be their first official match after the summer break, and we’ll see if they are capable of remaining undefeated again.

Full-Time Winner Odds & Prediction

An exciting clash is ahead of us, and both sides will search for their chances of winning the trophy. However, Bayern Munich is a favorite in this clash, and we believe they are going to meet the expectations with a win.

Goals Market Prediction

Both sides have been involved in high-scoring matches lately, and this one shouldn’t be much different. This game should go over a 3.5 margin, and football fans should really enjoy it.
Bayern Munich to win @ 1.35
Over 3.5 FT @ 1.80
Correct score 3:1 @ 10.00
Read the analysis here and share your opinion with us!
submitted by bat-bet to sportsbetting [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 07:28 hermandenblijkerr [REPOST] Build a PC for me with a budget between 800-1200 euros.

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Extra info or particulars: Looking for an upgrade for my 5 year old build which my brother built for me. It's a 300 euro build since I then didn't have a job yet, was a lot younger and wasn't yet introduced to editing and gaming. As you may've read, I have no knowledge about PC building whatsoever, and could definetly use some help after not having any clarity. All I know is that I want a new PC, however I have no clue how I'm going to be finding the right one.
You should know 1: I broke my 100 euro Apple Keyboard by drinking tea behind my desk. Yes. I now have this 10 euro Trust keyboard. Epic.
You should know 2: I own a, what used to be a white Logitech mouse, but now is yellow because of sweaty hands and obviously time. 5 years old, just like my build.
You should know 3: My current monitor is an Acer P191W LCD Monitor. Over time it has become cracky and I dislike the stand as it is quite space consuming.
You should know 4: I live under the IKEA Stuva loft bed which is great but there's not a lot of space. There's this hole for cables and I'd like to have a monitor stand coming out of it (with a monitor attached obviously) for space efficiency.
You should know 5: I'd like to learn about cable management.
submitted by hermandenblijkerr to buildapcforme [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 00:38 atokadelggon Updated Walmart Jargon, acronyms, initialisms, and information you should know

4 years ago, u/melantonpsn created a jargon list for use by this subreddit. Due to recent updates and changes in the company, I decided to update said list.
If you're still out there, melantonpsn, thank you for your hard work in creating the original list
This is mainly just a copy/paste of their original list, with the new changes added in along with things I've learned from personal experience. It may not be 100% correct, but that is where you come in! If you see anything on here that appears to be wrong, or don't see something that you feel should be, please let me know so I can update the list. This is meant to help everyone, especially new associates, so it is imperative that we have the correct information.
​
Without further ado, I present to you the list:
Types of Stores:
SC: A supercenter
Div 1: a smaller type of store. It carries less items and does not have all departments
NHM: Neighborhood Market
Sam's Club: A Walmart company that requires a membership to shop at
Departments
Apparel: 24: Boys wear
30: Bras and Shapewear
41: College and Pro Sports Apparel
33: Girls Wear
28: Hosiery
26: Infant Apparel
32: Jewelry and Sunglasses
31: Ladies Accessories and Handbags
29: Ladies Sleepwear
23: Men’s Wear
34: Misses and Junior Apparel
36: Outerwear and Swimwear
35: Plus size and Maternity
25: Shoes
27: Socks
Consumables:
46: Beauty/Cosmetics
2: HBA
13: Household Chemicals and Cleaning Supplies
4: Household Paper Goods
79: Infants Consumables
40: OTC pharmacy
8: Pets and Supplies
Entertainment:
85: 1 Hour Photo
21: Books and Magazines
6: Cameras and Supplies/Photo
72: Electronics
5: Media and Gaming
87: Wireless Devices
58: Wireless Services
Food:
98: Bakery
1: Candy and Tobacco
81: Commercial Bread
90: Dairy
95: DSD Grocery
91: Frozen Foods
92: Grocery
82: Impulse/Checkout Merchandise
96: Liquor
93: Meat and Seafood
97: Meat and Deli Wall
94: Produce
80: Service Deli
Homelines:
20: Bath and Shower
22: Bedding
14: Cook and Dine and Small Appliances
19: Crafts
44: Fabric
71: Furniture
17: Home Decór
74: Storage and Organization
Hardlines:
37: ACC
10: Automotive
67: Celebrations
48: Firearms
11: Hardware
77: Large Appliances
56: Live Plants and Garden Supplies
16: Outdoor Living
12: Paint and Accessories
18: Seasonal (Easter, Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving/Fall, Valentines Day, etc.)
9: Sporting Goods
3: Stationary
7: Toys
Miscellaneous:
50: Doctor Fees/Optical Service Income
65: Fuel
15: Health and Wellness Clinics
49: Optical
38: Pharmacy Prescriptions
89: Travel
86: Walmart Financial Services
69: Walmart.com sales
99: Store Assets
Store Positions
SM: the store manager. This is the highest role in stores. They are the ones in charge of the entire place.
SL: Store Lead. This position exists only in certain stores. They work directly opposite the store manager, helping to run the day to day operations of the store.
Coach: A salaried member of management who runs a wide area. The amount of coaches you have in your store will be determined by your store, as will what they are over. They report directly to the store manager.
Coach Trainee: An hourly member of management who is in training to become a Coach.
ASM: Assistant Store Manager. A salaried member of management who runs a specific area, much like a coach. Most of these positions were phased out with the introduction of the Coach role, but a few still remain. They report to the store leads or, in the absence of store leads, the store manager.
APASM: A salaried member of management in charge of all things AP. This is mainly things like theft, but can also include other things as well.
TL: Team Lead. Directly under the coach, these hourly supervisors run a small team. They work to develop the members of that team. They may also act as the manager on duty in the absence of a salaried member of management (must have training to do so).
AT: Academy trainers. This position currently only exists in NHMs. This position is in charge of training new employees. In Supercenters, this role falls to the team lead.
TA: Team associate. This is the regular associates of Walmart.
DM: Department Manager. This position has been almost completely phased out, save for a few exceptions. Their job is to run a specific department.
Claims Supervisor: The person in charge of claims.
APA: Asset Protection Associate. This person is meant to help stop theft. They will often roam the store, keeping an eye on customers whom they deem suspicious and will deal with theft issues as they arise.
SC(O)H: Self checkout host. This person watches over the self checkouts, helping customers and looks for items not scanned.
APCH: AP Customer Host. This person is in charge of doing receipt checks at the doors.
Stockman: a cart pusher
Mod Associate: an Associate who sets mods. Often based on overnights.
People Lead: often referred to as HR, they are the ones in charge of orientations, hiring, etc.
Old Positions
Cap 1: in charge of cleaning up freight and capping grocery and consumable bins. Replaced by stocking team 1
Cap Supervisor: In charge of Cap 1. Replaced by Stocking Lead 1
FCAP 1: Fresh cap team 1. In charge of working the Meat, Produce, Bakery, and Deli Freight and capping. Replaced by Meat/Produce team, bakery team, and deli team.
FCAP 1 Supervisor: In charge of FCAP 1. Replaced by Meat/Produce Lead, Bakery Lead, and Deli Lead
Cap 2: In charge of unloading the GM truck and working freight in grocery and consumables. Replaced by Stocking Team 2
Cap 2 Supervisor: In charge of Cap 2. Replaced by Stocking Lead 2.
Support Manager: A position in charge of various things across the stores. Often referred to as "Managements bitch", they basically do whatever salaried members of management ask of them while often helping to run the store. Often viewed as a stepping stone between hourly management and salaried management.
FCAP 2: Fresh Cap 2. In charge of capping, culling, and doing markdowns for Meat, Produce, Bakery, and Deli. Replaced by Meat/Produce team, Bakery Team, and Deli Team.
ON: Overnights. In charge of different things which vary by store, but usually FDD freight, finishing up Grocery and consumable freight, and working GM Freight. Replaced by Stocking Team 3
ON Support Manager: In charge of overnights. They report directly to the overnight asm. Were also MODs in the lack of a salaried member of management. Replaced by Stocking Lead 3.
CSM: customer service manager. Often found to be wearing yellow vests, they are in charge of running the front end. Replaced by Front End Lead
Locations
Grocery Doors: The entrance doors at the front of the store on the grocery side. Will stay open for as long as the store is open.
GM Doors: The entrance doors at the front of the store on the GM side. Will often close earlier in the evening, funneling everyone through the grocery doors.
Cart bay: where carts are stores for customers when they come into the store
Cart rails: the set of shelves as you come into the store. Called cart rails as they’re right next to or near the cart bays
Bullpen: the encircled area where the self check outs are located
TLE: Tire and Lube Express. Also known as ACC (auto care center)
HBA: Health and Beauty Aids. Also known as HBC (Health and Beauty Care)
OTC: Over the Counter. Refers to Pharmacy
L&G: Lawn and Garden
FDD: Frozen, Dairy, and Deli
CO: Cash Office
Front End: The front of the store. The front end is usually located between the two entrances. It includes all the registers at the front of the store and the service desk, but also includes positions like maintenance and stockmen.
Sales Floor: The area customers have available to shop
Back Room: The employee-only area. This is where trucks are unloaded and overstock goes. HR, Management Offices (except AP), and the break room are also located back here.
Softlines: Apparel departments
Consumables: Items that people use often. These include HBA, Cosmetics, Chemicals, Paper goods, Infants, OTC, and Pets.
Entertainment: everything often referred to as "electronics".
Grocery: any food or drink item, not including fresh
Fresh: Meat, Produce, Deli, and Bakery.
Homelines: Things you would use in a home. Things like bedding, furniture, cooking items, etc. are located in this area.
Hardlines: Basically everything else that doesn't fit into the above categories. These are things people may want, but aren't a necessity.
Action Alley
Action Alley: these are the areas in between departments. They are where customers and associates alike will walk as they are often the quickest ways around the store. They also will have features inside of them to increase sales.
B Action Alley: The Action Alley that separates grocery from apparel
The Cross: the section that separates apparel departments. As apparel is often a different color from the rest of the floor, it is easy to see the division here.
Horse Shoe: Toys, ACC, Hardware, HBA and OTC. When looking at them from a birds eye view, they will often make a horseshoe shape, but this is not in all stores.
Bowling Alley: the area between apparel and the front end registers. It is said that customers often look like bowling pins when they are lined up. May also be called the trench.
Main Alley: The back most action alley. May also be known as Long Action Alley or Back Action Alley
Race Track: All of the action alleys combined
Walls
Wet Wall: Located in Produce, its the wall with the fresh vegetables on it. Will often have rugs underneath to absorb excess moisture as there are sprinklers on this wall.
Meat Wall: The area where meat is sold
97 Wall: the area that holds bacon, hot dogs, lunch meat, lunchables, and the like
End Cap: At the end of all aisles that aren't against a wall. Features are set here to capture customer's eyes and sell more product.
Zoning
While zoning, Walmart employs a method known as fast zoning. To do a proper fast zone, take the following steps:
  1. for the first layer (the layer touching the shelf) start at the edge of the shelf closest to you.
  2. Fill all the way back until you reach the end of the shelf. Do not stack anything until this first layer is completed.
  3. After the first layer is completed, you may start the second layer. The second layer (and all layers above this) start at the back of the shelf and come forward. Do not start another layer until the previous layer is full.
Stocking
Case: a box of freight that holds multiple items inside of it that go on the shelf.
PDQ: Product Display Quantity. Some products will come in special cases meant to show off the product better. Also known as SRPs (Shelf Ready Packaging)
Breakpacks: the mixed boxes that come off the truck that will have small items in them that couldn't be thrown into the truck. May also be referred to as Totes, One Touch, or Casepack.
Fast track: The piece of plastic that holds the shelf labels
Bunkers: Located in grocery, these are the frozen or chilled areas not connected to the walls. They are often used for features. Also known as cooler bunker
Stackbase: a 4x4 plastic/wooden pallet that goes in action alley. Holds features.
COMAC: Food features that Home Office mandates
TIP: Towel in Pocket. Some associates will carry towels with them so they can easily clean up small spills. Not to be confused with TIPS
Buttholes: Hanging products can often rip, making it so they can't be hung anymore. Buttholes are sticky pieces of plastic that are attached to products like that so they can be rehung. May also be known as tabs, do-its, dang-it’s or damn-it’s.
Topstock: The highest shelves. They are meant to hold products that can't go on the shelves. May also be called risers
WACOs: Walmart Approved Corrugated Container. boxes kept on topstock or the backroom that are meant to hold products that don't easily fit on topstock or in the bins. Usually because they're so small or tend to roll around
Transportation
L Cart: an cart that makes an L shape with its handle. Also called a long cart
Rocket Cart: a 2-leveled cart that folded up for easy storage. These carts are being taken out of stores due to a number of incidents where associates received injuries due to the latches failing.
Top-Stock Cart: A cart with 3 levels on it. Attached to the front is a ladder, making reaching topstock much easier. May also be called a ladder cart.
Pallet Jack: a 2 pronged fork on wheels used to drive pallets around the store.
Electric Pallet Jack: an electric version of the pallet jack usually used to unload trucks or move especially heavy pallets.
Walkie Stacker: a type of lift used to reach the top steel or stack pallets.
Forklift: a type of lift used outside that is meant to carry and stack pallets. Can also be used to unload trucks.
Scissor Lift: a lift that carries a person and possibly some merchandise. Mainly used in Lawn and Garden and during seasonal sets to put up seasonal decorations or signs.
Trucks and the Backroom
HVDC: High Velocity Distribution Center. This is the grocery truck. Also called remix
McLanes: The candy truck. While it may have other departments in it (mainly pets, OTC, Tobacco, and grocery) it is almost all candy. Depending on location it may also be CoreMark
Origin: The truck that McLanes arrives on
Dance Floor: The space used for truck unloading
Hole in the Wall: the Trash Compactor. May also be called Oscar (like Oscar the grouch)
Baler: where plastic and cardboard are recycled. The baler makes compact, rectangular bales that are then taken to recycling centers to be reused.
Bin: The individual areas where overstock is kept in the backroom.
Steel: the steel that overstock is kept in. Contains the bins
Top-Steel: where pallets of merchandise or other important items are stores in the backroom. Located at the top of the steel.
Cap: The process of scanning items into a bin
Pick: When capping, the scanner will tell you if an item needs to go out to the floor.
Work: After capping, working the cart is when you take the cart of merchandise out and stock the items that were picked.
Inventory Flow Process: the process of items making their way from the manufacturer to customers homes.
CAP: Customer Availability Program. The process of making sure our shelves are stocked for the customers
DSD: Direct to Store Delivery. Products that come in from warehouses other than those owned by Walmart. Are usually stocked by the vendors or reps from those companies.
MABD: Must Arrive By Date
OSCA: On Shelf Customer Availability. The percentage of items we have in stock and on the shelves so that customers may purchase them
RPCs: Reusable Plastic Containers. the foldable plastic crates used in fresh departments.
Backload: sending pallets, rpcs, and break pack boxes back to the warehouses so they can be reused.
Miscellaneous
CBLs: Computer Based Learning. Replaced by the ULearn System
Telxon: an old scanner. Most stores do not have these anymore, but some still hold on to these relics. They are most often used in fabrics and crafts. Other forms of scanners include MCs or TCs. May also be referred to as a scanner, handheld, or gun (there are little triggers that sort of make the scanners look like guns
Onboarding: The initial training videos associates watch when they are hired. Replaced pathways
ULearn: The additional training associates will undergo every so often.
TIPS: Threaten Intimidate Promise Spy. An illegal method of dealing with unionizing
FOE: Facts, Opinions, and experiences. A lawful way of dealing with unionizing.
The Mule: the machines that stockmen use to push carts
Shopping Cart Party: When a group of associates goes outside to round up carts. Happens when stockmen fall behind. Also known as a buggy run
HEATKTE: High Expectations are the Key to Everything (Pronounced Het-Ka-Tee)
EDLC: Every day low cost. The way Walmart keeps prices low by reducing everyday costs.
EDLP: Every day low price. Correlates with EDLC
WOSH: Worked over Scheduled Hours. Will depend on the time of year and your management team, but as a general rule, working longer than you're scheduled is frowned upon unless you have management approval. You may be asked to cut any extra hours you accumulate throughout the week by taking a longer lunch or leaving early/coming in late
OBW: One best way. This is the official way everything is supposed to be run. Most stores do not follow this, however, and run things however they please.
Coaching: a disciplinary action.
Open Door: the process of taking concerns, ideas, or problems to higher ups. Starting with your immediate supervisor (or the next step higher if your supervisor is part of the problem), you discuss the idea or problem with management until it is resolved.
Ethics: a place to take all your ethical concerns. Be aware that ethics only deals with issues that are legal issues or are in direct violation of Walmarts Statement of Ethics.
GWP: Great Workplace. The phasing out of old supervisor roles to make way for the new team system. Has been renamed Teaming.
GAIN: global associate interactive network. the process of ending an associates employment.
One Walmart: Walmart’s site for employees. May also be called the wire
[email protected]: a free app on the App Store that allows you to view your schedule. Replaced the mywalmartschedule app
BYOD: allows you to download work apps to your personal phone. Only available in certain states.
WIN: Walmart Identification Number. This is your employee number.
submitted by atokadelggon to walmart [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 22:07 Twenty_Weasels I (34M) think my best friend (34M) might be a terrible person, and I might have been enabling him for years. Please help me figure out how to proceed.

tl;dr: my closest friend might be an irredeemable scumbag. I still care about him, but I can't stand how he acts when he's at his worst and I have my doubts if he's willing to genuinely try to be better. He's in therapy, has been for a long time, but I haven't seen improvement. He has done things that I can't forgive, and has never apologised properly or taken responsibility. He's hit on my fiancée under my nose, making her incredibly uncomfortable in the process; he borderline-sexually assaulted one of her friends; and even since those events he's gotten drunk, expected me to babysit him, and berated me about how I'm a bad friend to him. Am I kidding myself by trying to salvage something from our relationship? He's already invited to my wedding, what the hell do I do about that?
Full version:
I am so sorry, this is the longest post ever. Like seriously this is longer than some of my college essays. But the story of my friendship with this guy is pretty much the story of my life, so please bear with me if you can be bothered.
I met my best friend - I'll call him Martin - when I was 13. I was a shy, awkward kid, and he was a lot more confident than me in a lot of ways. I felt like he was much smarter, much more handsome, much more charming and socially adept than me. If I was a nerdy outsider because I was worse than everyone else, he was a nerdy outsider because he was better. Over time as I got to know him better those feelings faded to something more realistic (and not quite so self-loathing), but my admiration still held.
We got really close over the next few years that we were at school with each other. We read the same books, watched the same shows and movies, listened to the same bands - we had a massive influence on who we each grew up be. It was pretty close to a love affair; it might have actually been one, if he hadn't been straight. By the time we graduated I think we both felt then as if we were the only ones in the world who really got each other, and we were sure we'd be friends for life.
We went to university at separate ends of the country but we kept in touch and visited each other. Most of the rest of our friend group from school was in the same city as Martin, so I went to see them a few times a year. From my perspective, he continued to find life a lot easier than me and have a lot more success; he partied hard his first year, had flings and made new friends, then settled down with a serious girlfriend. He got great grades and went straight into a professional job. All that said, though, I started to get glimpses of a side of him that was desperately unhappy. When he'd get really drunk, a switch would flip and instead of the guy I knew it's like there was just this wretched suffering animal, repeating the same phrases over and over about how shit he was, how lonely he was, how everything was so horrible.
On the couple of occasions I saw that side of him back then, I was pretty drunk myself and I just rode it out, tried to comfort him, and didn't think that much of it. I was going through pretty much the worst years of my life - sinking into depression, struggling to motivate myself to study or socialise or do anything else. I was still a virgin by the time I left university and stayed that way for a while. I was more or less a NEET for several years, with no friends except the same guys I knew at school (including Martin) who lived a long way from me. Martin and I stayed as close as ever though. I got the sense that a lot of the time he felt just as miserable and lost in life as I did, and there was something he valued about the fact that I faced up openly to that (not that I felt like I had a choice) instead of putting a brave face on it like he did.
At one point I got the idea of moving to the city where he (and most of the other people I knew) lived, and he let me stay on his couch for a few weeks while I looked for work. I got along well with his girlfriend, mostly; it was a little bit strained at times, I guess she found it a bit stressful having me around, but I helped out with housework and cooking and things and it all ended amicably. But I couldn't find a decent job, and after a few months of living with random strangers, trying to make ends meet between casual work and dole money, I gave up and moved back with my mum.
A few years after that, I found myself on Martin's couch again, running a repeat of the same effort to move to the big city. This time I had managed to find work before I moved, and had made plans to live with some other friends, so it was just a case of a few weeks on his couch while we were looking for a place. It was a weird time - there was obviously a lot of strain between him and his girlfriend, and I guess my presence made it worse. She obviously resented me being there and I got the feeling that he'd maybe put his foot down and insisted that they let me stay, when maybe she had wanted to refuse.
As for me, I was getting up at 5am every morning to commute 2 hours each way (Martin's house not being the most convenient for my new place of work) and then often apartment-hunting all evening, so I really didn't have the energy to make such a point of pitching in and being a great guest like I did the first time I had stayed with them (albeit I still did my share of housework and shopping...). And the weird energy made me feel unwelcome, which I probably didn't handle that well - I seem to remember a lot of evenings where I showed my face to say hi, and then disappeared into my room without much ceremony. Anyway, I got out of there as quick as I could.
Martin and I ended up having our only ever big row over that, a few months after I left. He accused me of being ungrateful, said I didn't know how hard it had been for him and his girlfriend and that he couldn't believe I had left without any sort of gesture (a gift or card or whatever) to say thanks (something I had done when I stayed with them before); I told him that he was right, I wasn't grateful, because he'd made me feel so shit about the favour he did for me that I wished it had never happened, so what sort of favour was that? And it went downhill from there. We didn't talk for a few months, but we made up eventually and both apologised. To be clear, looking back I think I was mostly in the wrong. I should have gotten out of the situation much sooner when I realised how badly it was working out. I don't think there are any hard feelings between us about that today, although I guess I could be wrong..
So a couple of years later, Martin had broken up with his girlfriend of seven or eight years. It was bad - I don't know everything that went on but I know that for years he'd been testing the limits by flirting with other girls (not actually cheating, he says), staying out all night drinking without calling home, and so on. He also told me that she had some sort of deep emotional affair while on a trip to Israel. And he has this story about how one day near the end, when she had been on a trip and they had been texting and agreed to have a big talk when she got home, she walked in the door and told him that she fucked a stranger on the plane. I never believed the story, but she might have cheated on him - who knows. As for me, I still hadn't ever found myself in a romantic relationship at that point, but I was doing reasonably okay at the hook-up thing.
Then at around the same time, I found myself a much better job, and massively fell for a girl that I met online. We met in real life after a few months of starting to talk, and about six months later we moved in together. I was happier than I'd ever been or had thought I could be.
So for the first time in our friendship, things were going better for me than they were for him. And I guess that's where our relationship really started to go downhill. But I wasn't done asking him for favours yet - he lent me a couple of month's wages interest free to help me get set up in the new place with my girlfriend, and never held it over me the whole time (18 months or so) that I was paying him back.
The first real issue was at Martin's brother's wedding, a few months after I had introduced my new girlfriend to them both and my other friends. Coming out of a messy break-up himself and now doing best man duty for his twin brother, I thought it was understandable that Martin was a mess. He held it together long enough to pose in the photos and do a great speech, and then he got completely shitfaced. Which was all fine until I looked round and saw that he'd cornered my girlfriend on a bench, had his arm heavily round her, and was whispering in her ear. I didn't really know what to do. My reaction wasn't to be jealous; out in the open like that, at a wedding in full view of everyone, it seemed like there was no way he could possibly have been actually trying seriously to hit on her. So I didn't have a possessive instinct about it. I thought - okay, he's drunk, he's miserable, he's being inappropriate but he surely doesn't mean anything by it. I could see my girlfriend was really uncomfortable, trying to get out of the situation without causing a scene, but - to my discredit - I didn't step in. I guess it seemed like it would be too drastic, too humiliating, to go over there and ask him to leave her alone. In retrospect I regret prioritising his feelings over my girlfriend's, but that's the call I made at the time.
She told me after she managed to extricate herself that he'd been trying to sweet talk her, giving her compliments, and that he made one comment in particular about how it was a shame that we were happy together.
A couple of months later on my birthday, he repeated the same performance. After dinner and drinks a bunch of us went to do karaoke, and again Martin was hanging off my girlfriend and talking in her ear. Other people were noticing the odd behaviour too. This time I ended up having a quiet chat with him - I tried to put it gently, told him that she was very much not a touchy person (true) and that he was making her uncomfortable, so could he give it a rest. He took it okay, at least to my face, and didn't repeat that behaviour that night or on subsequent occasions.
The next, and biggest, issue was when we introduced him to one of my girlfriend's friends. He and I had been to a gig and my girlfriend and her friend had gone to a bar nearby, so we ended up meeting up and having a couple of drinks. Martin and this girl really hit it off. They got on the train together (their stops were on the same line), and on the way home I remember my girlfriend and I were wondering if we'd just accidentally done a nice bit of matchmaking. And then my girlfriend got a string of texts telling her that my friend was a fucking creep, that as soon as they'd got on the train he'd pulled a surprise kiss and started trying to convince her to sleep with him, holding her close to him and trying to force more kisses, while she was just trying to let him down gently since she was worried he'd only get worse (like possibly violent) if she was blunt. Luckily he didn't know which stop was hers, so she ended up getting off early and waiting for the next train to get out of the situation.
Once we had heard the whole story, I called up Martin to ask him what the fuck he was thinking. And looking back now, writing the whole thing out, I think I just got fully gaslighted. I still remember his tone of voice when he answered the phone, all chirpy and surprised to hear from me. So when I told him what was up he started out with how shocked and mortified he was that she had been scared, that he hadn't meant to be that pushy, that he thought she liked him back and she'd given no indication of being freaked out. He said how sorry he was that he'd come across that way. He apologised many times and asked how he could make things better. And then, once my initial anger had subsided a bit, he slowly twisted the whole conversation to be about how bad he felt, and how I should feel sorry for him because this was so hard. He brought up an incident that had happened a couple of years earlier when a girl he'd been dating for a few months had freaked out and falsely (?) accused him of rape - talking about how this incident really took him back to that and how traumatic it was.
Even at the time I was unimpressed that he had flipped the script like that, but I didn't know what to do with my feelings. I felt like calling him out directly on being manipulative would have been a hard end to the friendship, and I wasn't sure enough to take that step. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that it was all a misunderstanding and that whilst, yes, he was culpable for being creepy, he surely hadn't had bad intentions. And back then, I didn't doubt that the rape accusation against him had been fake. What had happened was that he'd had an intense relationship for this girl for a few months and then taken her to meet his family for the first time over Christmas. Everything was apparently going great until one day they'd gotten in a loud row that everybody in the house could hear, and then she had gone to find his mum and told her that he had raped her. So obviously all kinds of drama erupted, she made threats of self-harm and suicide, and ended up getting a lift to the train station from Martin's brother's wife. Nobody had believed her about the rape, and everybody had been completely confused that she would have gone to talk to his mum (who she'd never met before) with this accusation. I think there's no question that she was unbalanced and volatile, but looking back now I don't feel confident that the whole situation was 100% her fault. I think there's every chance that he acted abusively, and if I'm honest with myself I think it's not impossible that he really did rape her. I've never really accepted that explicitly before, and it feels horrible, but it's the truth.
Overall, pushed along by those few dramatic incidents, our friendship over recent years has definitely cooled. He drinks too much at every opportunity, and when he drinks he's a pain in the ass. He loses the ability or desire to have any sort of dialogue, he's childish, needy and demanding, and at times he explicitly guilts me for not reaching out to him more often and being a better friend. He's been in therapy for years at this point but he doesn't seem to be either feeling better about himself or improving his behaviour to others. From what he's told me about his therapist, I have a suspicion that he's found one who enables a lot of his crappy ways of acting and thinking about things.So for all those reasons I find myself increasingly dodging his calls and messages, which probably only makes things worse. I've been hoping that by responding in a lukewarm way to him I would be able to slowly disengage from the level of intimacy we've had in the past and keep him at arm's length while still keeping him in my life and providing support in a healthy, non-codependent kind of way when he's ready to receive that. But I don't think it's working out like that - I think he feels just as intense towards me as ever, but probably with more and more resentment just beneath the surface.
He's still the closest of all my friends in many ways, and the only person in the world that I can really talk to about some of my interests (books, politics, history) in a way where we have all the same reference points and where even if we don't agree about everything we totally get each other. I don't know if I'll ever find a friend like that again. But the things that he's done, and that I failed to properly call him on at the time, have festered between us and I don't know if it's possible to have a healthy friendship with him any more. I don't know if he's still somebody that I would want to be friends with, or if he actually ever was, if I'd seen him for what he was and been honest with myself.
So a bit more than a year ago I proposed to my girlfriend, and we are planning on getting married next spring. With all the uncertainty around the COVID situation, we've planned for a tiny ceremony (close family only) followed by a slightly bigger reception (family and closest friends). I invited Martin before I had really come to terms with some of the feelings I've expressed in this post; at that point, my view was that yes he was difficult sometimes but he was still one of my oldest and closest friends and of course he'd be invited. That's now seeming kind of wild to me, but there it is, that's where I was a couple of months ago. My fiancée has done her best to give Martin a chance - and a second, third, and fourth chance - but he's fucked them all up and understandably she can't really stand him at this point. She's worried that he'll make a scene and ruin the wedding reception. I can't pretend those fears aren't valid. Practical considerations aside, I also can't deny that she has good reasons to despise the guy and not want him at our wedding.
So where we are now is that my fiancée and I have arranged to meet Martin on Saturday, and the plan is to tell him that he's still invited to the wedding, but we don't want him drinking. This is something we came up with as a compromise between a) the complacent option of doing nothing and just crossing our fingers that he won't ruin the wedding, and b) the nuclear option of uninviting him, which may well ruin my relationship not only with him but with pretty much all my friends (who all have their concerns about Martin, but definitely not to the extent that I do). I feel sort of cavalier about shrugging and just letting my friends go if they want to go; people make new friends all the time, right? But I've known these people for most of my life. I've always been quick to cut people off when they do something I don't like (the obvious exception of Martin notwithstanding...). I guess I'm concerned that this would just be more of that negative salt-the-earth kind of tendency manifesting itself.
To be honest, especially having typed out this marathon post, I don't know if this option is good enough for me. This is a guy who I don't know if he's a rapist or not (and if he is, he hasn't even come close to owning up to it or making any kind of reparations). Although we have a lot in common and he's been there for me in concrete ways in the past, I feel like he's burned his way through that credit and more with the way he's acted, and I can't keep giving him the benefit of the doubt any more. When I think about things from my fiancée's point of view, I'm amazed that she's been so restrained and hasn't told me a long time ago that she never wants to see him again. So yeah, I don't think I really want him at our wedding, drinking or not drinking. But I don't know how to make that happen without burning all my bridges. Martin's brother, in particular, will never accept my reasons. And it will only be harder to explain given that I never properly called him on this stuff at the time, and now I'd be bringing it up again years later. And I know Martin - he will tell as many bald-faced lies and double down as many times as he needs to in order to beg or bully everyone into giving him a pass.
Furthermore, the more I think about it, the more I think that confronting Martin with my true feelings about his past actions could be dangerous. He shows a lot of signs of narcissism. If that's accurate, as close as we have been in the past, I think he'd take it as an incredibly personal insult if I told him that I had come to doubt his basic good intentions for events going back years, and if I refused to credit all the lies and supplications that would follow from that. Maybe enough of a personal insult to tip him over into violent or otherwise malicious behaviour. Is that crazy?
So: do I suck it up and go through with the compromise option of asking him not to drink at the wedding, but still inviting him? Is that a reasonable thing to do to have a drama-free wedding and to be able to invite my other friends? Do I nuke my whole friendship group from orbit (it's the only way to be sure)? Could I be putting myself in danger by confronting him? Or am I being a bad friend and too hard on a poor guy in emotional distress who, hey, maybe he never raped anyone, right?
submitted by Twenty_Weasels to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 17:31 awesomeboy2004 Decent Fly-In Results

Demographics
Intended Major(s): African American Studies, Pre-Law, something politically/law related if asked for more
Academics
Standardized Testing
2018 Human Geography (5)
2019 Seminar (4), World History (4)
2020 Research (4), English Language and Composition (4), Psychology (4), United States History (3) oof, Physics 1 (1) how fitting
Extracurriculars/Activities:
Write freelance opinion columns, 10+ reputable publications
Multiple college study abroads in fields of interest
Run a reselling business
Model UN
Orchestra
Tennis
Other clubs too, like Mu Alpha Theta, Student Government, Interact Club
Have fun with activities, never thought about doing things for college really before January
Awards/Honors:
College Board National African American Recognition Program, PSAT award
AP Capstone Diploma
AP Scholar with Distinction
nothing too crazy
Essays/LORs/Interviews:
I would like to think I'm a pretty good essay writer (all of us think the same way), used a cool experience from travel, and related it to my interests and identity. Can't be too bad, used the bones of it for Amherst, Dartmouth, Johns Hopkins, and Penn. Did not vibe with any Swarthmore prompts and wrote a bad essay, not surprised with the results. Did not submit an essay to Williams, so not surprised either. Pro-tip: Use lots of personality and voice in your essays, if the AO couldn't pick you out of a lineup solely based on your essay, rewrite it.
Only Amherst took a LOR--maybe Williams too, I can't remember, but it doesn't matter because I didn't have one when I submitted. The teacher voluntarily let me read and it's pretty good.
Decisions:
Amherst College, Access to Amherst (A2A)
Dartmouth College, Dartmouth Bound (DB)
Johns Hopkins University, Hopkins Online Multicultural Program + Impact (HOME + Impact)
Occidental College, Tiger Access Program (TAP)
The University of Pennsylvania, Penn In Focus, (PIF)
Washington University in St. Louis, WashU Preview (Preview)
none
Swarthmore College, Discover Swarthmore (DiscoSwat)
Williams College, Windows On Williams (WOW); applied to the first deadline, July 1; received a fee waiver for application and CSS Profile
Additional Information:
Lived in Texas and moved to Virginia in July, might be some sort of geography that worked for me. Accepted to Dartmouth and rejected by Williams while in Texas, rest in Virginia.
Overall, I very happy with my results. I 100% support applying to fly-ins, class of '22. Heavy hitters are past their due date, but great places like Haverford College, Miami University, and the University of Richmond (I think) are still open for a couple of days, it's not too late for you '21s! Even applying gives you a feel of the application process and knowing what does and doesn't work. "Optional" essays are not optional, learned first-hand from Williams, but it's better to learn that early on than later in this cycle. Aside from admissions benefits, fly-in programs are amazing and allow you to explore where you would like to spend the next 4 years of your life. I made this post because fly-ins are hard to research, so this is my contribution.
u/eccentricgalaxy is the goat, I probably would have not known about fly-ins without his postings in the spring, and by the time I would have found out, Dartmouth's due date could have passed.
REA application is due in 5 weeks, yikes. Stay tuned in late March/April for my college results, everyone. Had fun writing this, and one last thing: If you recognize who I am, no you don't :)
submitted by awesomeboy2004 to collegeresults [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 16:45 esanm Modern PowerPoint to PowerPoint 2008

Hi, I’m not 100% sure on this so I wanted to double check, my laptop runs the most upto date version of PowerPoint, and I have a couple presentations for an interview tomorrow, however I’ve been told the laptop I’ll be using runs PowerPoint 2007. How can I make sure my PowerPoint will work properly on this?
I’ve had a good google but can’t find a definitive answer.
Thanks in advance for any tips and help.
submitted by esanm to powerpoint [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 16:00 amnonymous [Main] BNIB Grand Seiko Mt Iwate High Beat GMT - 100 spots at $53/ea with X spot limit.

Item Name: Grand Seiko Mt. Iwate High-Beat GMT - SBGJ201
Price: $5300
# of Spots: 100
Price Justification: Sold $4900 Used July 15
Price Justification: Sold $5100 Used June 23
Price Justification: Sold $4900 Used June 20
Price Justification: Only new on on eBay $5799 OBO
Call spots? Sure!
Spot limit per person? 0
Location/Country: USA
Will ship international? Yes at additional cost
Timestamp/pics: https://imgur.com/a/U3eC54C
Escrow: no
**Mod Approval: https://mod.reddit.com/mail/perma/gexzc
Description: Up for raffle is a watch that needs very little introduction: The Grand Seiko High Beat GMT SBGJ201. AKA: The Mt Iwate. Like a GS Snowflake on steroids, the dial looks more like a blizzard than freshly fallen snow. For that matter, it looks more like a blizzard than the GS blizzard dial. This watch has a true GMT complication and a smooth sweeping high-beat seconds hand. It is brand new and fully stickered. The Mt Iwate is made in the iconic 44GS case, the perfect way to show off that sweet zaratsu polish. The warranty card is stamped but not dated (can be dated if you like). 40mm case. Full AD warranty. Good luck!

PayPal Info: [REDACTED]

Tip BoyAndHisBlob
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submitted by amnonymous to WatchURaffle [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 15:51 Lobster_Muffin My DemiAndPoly story - communication, compersion, experience gaps, and the struggles of converting a mostly-monogamous relationship into a polyamorous one.

I was asked to share my little story in the demi/poly world, so here it is! Okay it turned out not be very "little"...
My girlfriend and I have been together for some years now. I am older than her, so the age gap was always going to factor into things, but it hasn’t really been a problem until the last year - I have had more experience in the world than she has, and she’s only really known one serious relationship (us). I’ve always been aware of this, and encouraged her to do things independently from me where possible - I never wanted her to resent me for holding her back during her most formative adult years.
We spent a while as swingers, mostly for her benefit to explore her sexuality (she’s bisexual), but also because I felt a strong connection and compersion with her when I could see how much fun she was having. I obviously got things out of it as well, but I’d say 95% of our swinging was the two of us together, rather than one of us separately.
There have been occasions when she has had opportunities to form a sexual/“more than friends” relationship with people that I never met - these have all gone very well for both of us, with no feelings of jealousy, just that good old compersion.
Last year, she spent four weeks working overseas in the USA. She has never worked abroad, never really lived on her own or had to fend for herself. I had no doubt she would do well, but I encouraged her to be open to meeting people and maybe having a fling. She did just that, and met a guy in each of the two cities she worked in. I got to share in some of her stories, but for the most part, it was something she had for herself, and I loved that. I never felt threatened - I always trusted she would come back to me.
This changed when I flew over to meet her, and we went on a long road trip around the States. Things were… different. She was messaging one of the guys a lot but barely talking to me. I did my best to let her process her thoughts - she’d just been living single for four weeks, it’s a big adjustment to then get in a car with me for three more. Eventually, she opened up to me (after a particularly painful drunken night). She acknowledged that I was the person who knew her the best, and I’ve helped her with things in the past, so why was she confiding in a relative stranger about our long-term relationship, etc. We decided to work on the relationship, giving her the freedom she needed (which she always had, but keeps forgetting about).
A year later, she announced to me that she is polyamorous. This came as no huge surprise to me - I know she’s capable of so much love and compassion for her friends, and so I want her to be able to explore that without bounds. Being poly simply suits her perfectly, and I could probably have told her she was poly before she even realised herself. However, this announcement came at the same time as a mutual friend of ours became single. I knew she liked him and found him attractive, I even knew she loved him, but aside from the occasional kiss at a party, it never went further than that. It just seemed a bit too similar to what had happened in America, and I’m finding it extremely difficult to be okay with this.
Since they started their relationship, I’ve been feeling varying levels of discomfort, sometimes even jealousy and resentment. I know she’s getting NRE with him, and she’s generally happier than she’s been in a long time, but I’m worried that HE doesn’t completely understand the poly situation, and he has recently made a comment that he wished she wasn’t “taken”. I’ve spent some time with him alone and we talked about all of this, and it became very apparent that he hasn’t done any research into this. I don’t know how important it is that he DOES that research, but I sometimes feel worried that he’s trying to push me out of the picture. However, I acknowledge that this is JUST a feeling, and other than the comments I’ve just mentioned above, he’s given no indication that he has any sinister or hidden motive. He’s the nicest guy, he’s so… pleasant. I don’t see what she sees in him but that’s not for me to judge.
On to me…. I have no dying urge to be poly myself. I like the freedom and the possibility of it, but…. I’m demisexual. I already have the relationships I want with each of my friends. I have no interest in taking things further. BUT, I’ve never really dated before, and maybe now is a good time to give that a try - my girlfriend is incredibly supportive of this, giving me tips and helping me with dating profiles. I’d also like to take some of the pressure off my girlfriend, because we live together, and (because of the current world situation) I’m usually home when she gets home from her dates, and I don’t want her to feel like I’m just sitting around waiting for her (which I usually am not). So I’ve signed up to OKCupid, which is an absolute bust in the area I live. I’m not Tinder material so that hasn’t worked either. Lockdown is a thing here so prospects of naturally meeting someone new are incredibly low, and to be honest, I’d just like new people to talk to who aren’t already part of our social circle. I sometimes feel like I have no-one I can talk to without going behind someone’s back, since everyone knows everyone.
You might be wondering how we could be swingers if I’m demisexual. It’s a question I’ve been asked before. I’m able to have sex or be sexually involved with people I’m not attracted to - hell, I’ve been married before, I’m used to it…. I truly, honestly and fully only have eyes for my girlfriend, and it’s bothered her when I don’t admit to finding someone else attractive - she used to think I’m just trying to protect her feelings, but I honestly just don’t find anyone else attractive in that way. But I can have a good time with them. I just… don’t really want to go seeking that out. To me, when we were swinging, I was having sex with my girlfriend, not the other people in the room.
Annoyingly though, I am VERY sex-driven. I feel like I’m just quite unlucky in that I’m a very sexual person, but I’m also not sexually attracted to pretty much anyone (other than the obvious). This puts pressure on my girlfriend who, herself, is NOT necessarily sex-driven. Obviously she’s getting NRE with her new partner, and we’ve had great sex recently, making an effort to go on dates ourselves and taking away the monotony of “convenience sex”. I have absolutely no complaints about our sex life right now, and I think, in some ways, it’s better than it has been in a long time.
I just wish I could skip the uncomfortable adjustment period with my girlfriend having a romantic relationship with one of her closest friends, who himself is completely harmless. He poses no threat to my relationship. I WANT to get to being 100% comfortable and supportive. I don’t like the intrusive thoughts that jealousy brings. I don’t like worrying that she’s having a better time with him than me, because that’s really not the point of all of this. You don’t have a favourite child when you’re a parent. Everyone in your life adds something unique that cannot necessarily be replaced by another.
I understand the thoughts, and by this point, I honestly believe I agree with them all. I just wish my brain would settle into it quicker. I often fantasise about the three of us spending time together without me getting stabs of jealousy when I see her stroking his arm. We’ve had some occasions recently where we HAVE hung out together and I’ve been completely comfortable with everything, but the following day, it feels like my brain has exceeded the speed limit and moved forward too quickly. I’m purposefully limiting my exposure to him for the next few weeks, just so I can grow and adapt in my own way. My girlfriend is being incredibly supportive with this as well, setting boundaries and time limits, so she can give her primary relationship with me the care it definitely needs right now.
It’s a process. I’m getting through it. I believe this will be wonderful. I just need to take it one day at a time, and not rush into things. I even recently had a revelation - I am capable of loving more than one person. I have two close friends who I realised I actually loved just a few days ago. This is a feeling very new to me - I thought I was only capable of truly loving one person. I’m learning a lot about myself, and I think this adventure is making me into a better, more compassionate, more loving, more sincere, more understanding human. I can’t really complain about that.
submitted by Lobster_Muffin to DemiAndPoly [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 15:37 velociraptor75 The all-up Manjaro Gnome guide: From installation to system optimization to desktop tweaks

The all-up Manjaro Gnome guide: From installation to system optimization to desktop tweaks
I've been using Manjaro for a couple of years now, and I love how responsive, stable and reliable it is. Over numerous installations across several machines (and collating best practices from many great online resources -- including Manjaro's excellent forums) this is my go-to checklist: from system installation to tweaked desktop. NOTE: Many of the choices of apps and tweaks here are my own personal choices -- you're likely to go with something completely different. But that's one of the beautiful things about Linux: choice!
So, here goes...
Create the boot disk/CD
  1. Download the relevant Manjaro Gnome ISO from here
  2. Verify file integrity:
    1. Linux: [sha1sum or sha256sum] [ISO Image]Eg. sha1sum ISO_NAMEORsha256sum ISO_NAME
    2. Windows: Download and use the MD5& SHA Checksum Utility
  3. Copy this to a thumb drive using the Rufus bootable thumb drive creator (in Windows) or Popsicle/balenaEtcher (Linux). Preferably select GPT/UEFI when creating the bootable thumb drive. Note: With Rufus, selecting the DD mode is more reliable than the file mode when creating the image.
  4. Selecting UEFI will boot into EFI mode, otherwise it will launch in MBBIOS mode. NOTE: To set up Manjaro in EFI mode (recommended, for almost every system built in the last decade,) make sure ‘Launch CSM’ and ‘Secure Boot’ is disabled in BIOS, otherwise it will launch in a Legacy mode that emulates BIOS. The mode the system is booted in will be the mode Manjaro Linux will be eventually installed in: UEFI or legacy BIOS.

Installing Manjaro

  1. Boot using the thumb drive created above. From the Live environment boot menu:
    1. Select free or non-free drivers. (Choose free for Intel, non-free for Radeon/Nvidia)
    2. Select system language/numbers and dates format (I use US English -- en_US.UTF-8 in the list of choices)
  2. After booting into the Live environment:
    1. When choosing automatic partitioning, remember to select the correct target drive! I generally choose Erase disk, Swap (with Hibernate).
    2. For manual partitioning, see this guide. Use Gparted, and delete all existing partitions on the target drive. Then choose New Partition Table, Select GUID (GPT), and click OK. To install Manjaro, you need i) A FAT 32 boot partition, ii) Swap space, iii) The Root file system, iv) Home partition (if not defined, it will be created as part of the Home partition). Set up the drive’s partitions as suggested below. TIP: If resizing partitions, do this first in Gparted and then launch the installation. Resizing drive partitions in Manjaro takes far longer.
Suggested drive partitioning for Manjaro installation
HINT: If you happen to have two drives in your system, configure the Swap partition on a different drive from the one your boot/root/home directory is on.
  1. Proceed as guided by the remainder of the Manjaro Installer.

Things to do after first install

System/Performance tweaks
  1. Start Pamac (Add/Remove software) and select the best server repository In Preferences, enable checking for updates and set this to every 24 hours. Enable AUR. Then update the system.
  2. Install Preload from Pamac, then run it using admin privileges (for faster application startup)
  3. Date and Time Set to Automatic
  4. Disable GRUB delay (Quicker system startup):
    1. sudo nano /etc/default/grub
    2. Change GRUB_TIMEOUT value to ‘0’
    3. Set GRUB_TIMEOUT_STYLE to ‘hidden’ (and not ‘menu’) for a silent, faster bootup
  5. Power management:
    1. TLP: Make sure TLP is installed and running with tlp-stat -s (check for ‘active’ status.) If not installed, do so from Pamac, installing tlp and tlp-rdw[Optional] Install the GUI for the app (tlpui from Pamac)
    2. Install Thermald
  6. Reduce Swappiness (sets the system to depend less on Swap):
    1. Swappiness value should ideally be 10. Check Swappiness value with: cat /proc/sys/vm/swappiness
    2. Create the config file sudo nano /etc/sysctl.d/100-manjaro.conf
    3. In the above file enter: vm.swappiness=10
    4. Save the file (CTRL+O), enter, and exit (CTRL+X)
    5. The feature takes effect on restart
  7. Check TRIM for SSD drives (for extending life): systemctl status fstrim.timerThe command should return a response indicating it is enabled by default. If not, enable by typing the command sudo systemctl enable fstrim.timer
  8. Run Gufw (Firewall) and enable
  9. [Optional] Disable Bluetooth service from loading at startup:
    1. To list enabled services: systemctl list-unit-files --type=service grep enabled
    2. To disable services from loading at boot:sudo systemctl disable bluetooth.service
    3. If you really want it dead, where other services can’t restart it:sudo systemctl mask bluetooth.service
    4. To stop the service: sudo systemctl stop bluetooth.service
    5. To verify that service is disabled: systemctl status bluetooth.service
  10. [Optional] Disable the Ethernet interface if it isn’t being used and is utilizing too much power. This is done by disabling kernel modules
  11. Run mkinitcpio -M to show all automatically detected modules
  12. Should look like ‘r8169’ for the Ethernet card
  13. Create a .conf file inside /etc/modprobe.d/ and append a line for each module you want to blacklist, using the blacklist keyword. Eg.
# Do not load the 'pcspkr' module on boot.
blacklist pcspkr
install module_name /bin/true
  1. Regenerate initramfs with sudo mkinitcpio -P, and reboot.
  2. To regain Ethernet access, repeat this process, commenting ‘#’ the lines added to the .conf file.
NOTE: The following section is entirely optional. At this point, you can straightaway jump into using your newly-installed Manjaro!

Desktop environment / app tweaks

The steps below reflect my personal desktop preferences (Manjaro Gnome). You may of course want to configure your desktop differently, based on your own preference:
  1. Launch Layouts and choose ‘Traditional’. Also make sure ‘Automatic Dark Theme’ is diabled.
  2. Settings:
    1. Keyboard shortcuts:
      1. Search for ‘Switch windows’ and add the shortcut ALT+TAB (replace existing)
      2. Scroll to the bottom and add
    2. Power:
      1. Bluetooth: ‘Off’
      2. Automatic Suspend: ‘On’
      3. Power button Action: ‘Power Off’
    3. Files history & Trash:
      1. Disable File history if needed
      2. Toggle on to automatically delete temp files and trash
    4. Keyboard and mouse:
      1. Search for Universal Access
      2. Search for Touchpad, disable Natural Scrolling
  3. Install Chrome:
    1. Start Pamac and search for Chrome in the AUR packages
    2. After installing, font size (of browser content) can be increased in Chrome Settings (Eg for a 1080p display. Set Page zoom to 110%, Font size: Medium). Set this in conjunction with ‘Scaling Factor’ in Gnome Tweaks Fonts.
    3. If not already picked up after logging into Google, change Chrome theme to Morpheon Dark.
    4. Disable tab hover cards by typing chrome://flags/#tab-hover-cards then selecting ‘Disable’.
    5. See this site on enabling hardware rendering in Chrome:
      1. Go to chrome://settings and expand Advanced at the bottom
      2. Scroll to the bottom, locate and make sure the Use hardware acceleration when available option is enabled.
      3. Type chrome://gpu. Most entries should have the words ‘Hardware accelerated’.
      4. To force hardware acceleration for even more features, open chrome://flags
      5. Locate the section on that page called Override software rendering list and change ‘Disabled’ to ‘Enabled’.
      6. When you now check chrome://gpu, more settings should be Hardware Acceleration enabled.
  4. I love my desktop clean! Right-click desktop Settings uncheck toggles for desktop icons
  5. Right-click Panel (Dash to Panel settings):
    1. Position Stack ‘Date menu’ lower down, until it shows up to the extreme right
    2. Style Panel size: 32, App icon margin and padding (choose what looks best)
    3. Style Scroll to bottom, Override panel theme background opacity, set Panel background opacity to 85% (or whatever looks best with the selected wallpaper)
    4. Fine-tune
      1. Tray font size: 0 (theme default)
      2. Status icon padding: -1 (theme default)
    5. Extensions Disable Arc Menu
  6. Gnome Tweaks
    1. General Over-Amplification (as needed)
    2. Fonts
      1. Scaling factor: 1.2 (works well for my 1080p laptop display. Play around and see what works best for you. This changes fonts system-wide: UI as well as web page text) OR change the font sizes of Interface, Document, Monospace etc.
      2. Antialiasing Subpixel (for LCD screens)
    3. Top bar
      1. Enable Battery percentage
      2. Clock: Enable Weekday, Date, Seconds
    4. Windows Titlebars Enable Maximize and Minimize
    5. Appearance Applications: Adwaita-maia-dark, Cursor: Xcursor-breeze, Icons: Papirus-Dark-Maia, Shell: Adwaita-maia-darkNote: Installing other themes sometimes mess with the appearance of other apps (eg. Kdenlive not rendering the dark theme correctly.)
  7. install Gnome extensions from https://extensions.gnome.org (requires a browser plugin for control). I like keeping it simple -- my preferred extensions are:
    1. Sound Input & Output Device Chooser
    2. Clock Override: Configure the Add-on, and enter the following text for preferred date and time:%A, %d %b '%y ~ %l:%M:%S %p
    3. Dim On Battery Power: Set screen brightness for battery (~50) and plugged in (~100)
    4. Remove Accessibility (Removes the accessibility button from the panel, if present)

Install key software

Remember to enable the Arch User Repository (AUR) in Pamac Preferences.
  1. Mark each the following in Pamac before installing in one go.
    1. gThumb Image Viewer, a quick image file viewer
    2. Timeshift (for system snapshots, not user data backups). Settings RSYNC, Schedule 2 snapshots weekly, exclude user home directory, select date format. See this tutorial.
    3. Popsicle (for formatting and writing images to USB thumb drives)
    4. MS fonts: Install ttf-ms-fonts in Pamac
    5. KeePassXC (password manager), from main repository
    6. uGet (Download manager)
    7. VeraCrypt (Encryption tool)
    8. qBitTorrent (Torrent client)
    9. Gimp (image editing)
    10. Kdenlive: Video editor. Settings Color Theme to ‘KvBlender’. (See Getting started)
  2. Tor Browser: (Detailed instructions)
    1. Download the Linux package from the Tor website
    2. Extract the files
    3. To install Tor so you can launch it from system:
      1. Move the Tor directory ‘tor-browser_en-US’ to /opt:sudo mv tor-browser_en-US /opt
      2. cd /opt/tor-browser_en-US
      3. Run ./start-tor-browser.desktop --register-app
      4. The Tor icon will now show up when you search for it, and can be launched as with any app
    4. To run from the directory itself:
      1. In the terminal, go to the Tor browser directory it was unzipped to
      2. To launch Tor, run: ./tor-browser_en-US/Browsestart-tor-browser &
    5. Install the Adblock Plus extension
  3. Games
    1. Install Steam (then go to Steam Settings Steam Play, and check ‘Enable Steam Play for all other titles’. Note: I found Proton 5.0-9 had stability issues; choose a lower version if needed. Install your favourite games Mine are:
      1. TrackMania Nations Forever
      2. The Secret of Monkey Island
      3. Monkey Island 2: Special Edition
      4. Kentucky Route Zero
      5. Flight Sims: X-Plane (from Steam) or FlightGear (Open Source)
    2. [Optional] Install Lutris (to manage games across sources)
      1. Search for and install games from Lutris.net
      2. Import all installed games
  4. [Optional] lmms: Sound sequencer and synth
  5. Add favourite programs to Taskbar, then lock taskbar.
… and you’re done!
Hope this helps, folks. Shout out in case of recommendations/feedback.
submitted by velociraptor75 to ManjaroLinux [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 15:06 Kilztride [FLASH] 75290 Cantina- 223 spots/$2

Escrow for u/Detroit-Funk
Date/Time: now
Item Name: 75290 Mos Eisley Cantina
Lego Price: $350, $25 tax
Shipping: $71
Raffle total: $446, 223 spots/$2
Price justification? Lego.com
Call spots? Yes
Spot limit per person? No
Duration of spot limit? N/A
Location(Country): USA
Will ship international? No, continental US only
Timestamp/pics: https://m.imgur.com/iG2nG7a
Description: get yo Star Wars fix. Box comes with some damage from shipping, Nate said we can run it as is without discount, but two polybags are being added as compensation; Obi Wan and the 20th anniversary podracer
Payment required w/in 30 minutes of raffle filling.

PayPal Info: [REDACTED]

Tip BoyAndHisBlob
Number of vacant slots: 0
Number of unpaid users: 0
Number of unpaid slots: 0
This slot list is created and updated by The EDC Raffle Tool by BoyAndHisBlob.
1 TheProfessxr PAID
2 ghgaud PAID
3 HP_Craftwerk PAID
4 Attackcamel8432 PAID
5 Effective_Clock1728 PAID
6 Nar_Shaddaa_Resident PAID
7 Bosskz PAID
8 TheProfessxr PAID
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10 Bosskz PAID
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19 gfy4dsny PAID
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22 MrBonVoyage PAID
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25 Bosskz PAID
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submitted by Kilztride to lego_raffles [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 09:46 shesdumb UPDATE: I [21F] think I have a crush on my geeky guy friend [23M]

Hi! I'll link the original post here for anyone who hasn't already read it and is curious, but the original post is from months ago and I feel that I owe everyone an update since I've been asked for one multiple times (and I'm flattered by the curiosity!).
Or, for anyone who just wants a TL;DR: I'm generally a "party girl" and I have/had a crush on a male friend of mine who falls out of my social circle (he is a nerd, and I'm not even being malicious when I say that, he'd agree with me and wouldn't take offence either. I wish I could share pics of his action/anime figure collection on here because it's...huge. Like, insanely so. I'm estimating at least $75,000 worth, 100% unironically. But that's off-topic, so I'll launch into my update).
I'll be mentioning house parties, but I want to clarify that these are outdoor parties in an area that (at the time, sadly things have gotten worse since the return of school/work) had very little COVID-19 cases, so it was safe. Again, off-topic, but figured I should include a disclaimer. I'm outside of the USA.
Anyway. Last I left off, I was mentioning him having a house party. So, a few days before his house party, I was at another house party. This part gets embarrassing, but honestly, the whole post is embarrassing so it's okay. Anyway, whilst being drunk I tweeted something like..."have sex with me already". Essentially, dropping hints "very" "subtly" because honestly, I'm extremely cautious about guys (but also, I'm not so cautious drunk). And he liked that tweet, which is interesting because he rarely likes tweets. Yes, this is the world we're living in. "How'd you and Daddy fall in love, Mommy?" "Well, sweetheart, I tweeted about wanting to sleep with him, and he liked the tweet and then I knew we were soulmates!" But I digress!
So, he liked that tweet, and a day later messaged our group chat to remind us that if anyone wanted to stay the night, they could. Now, here I am thinking. Oh, yeah. We're gonna sleep together at this party. So, my best friend and I show up at this party a few days later, but it does not go as planned/expected.
First of all, this was not a good party. Not because of him. Honestly, he's a really fun host, but it was a bad party because a friend of mine; her boyfriend got super drunk and started being downright abusive to other people at the party, which basically, just...killed the mood for everyone involved (I won't go into specifics, but he was racist and a lot of people at this party were POC, including the host). Additionally, at one point we played a drinking game I created and that friend's boyfriend basically implied I would sleep with this guy friend (same one hosting, the same one I've been talking about this entire time) for "free" if he just asked, which was so middle school and also really awkward. Definitely not as bad as the other stuff, but yeah. I don't know how to explain it, it was just not a good night. I stayed over, but I didn't sleep with anyone and I didn't even really speak to him at that party. And then I left the next day.
So, after that...basically nothing happened until another friend of mine asked if we wanted to hang out a week or so later. So it's me, my other male friend (20M), my best friend (21F), and my "crush" (23M). At one point, my "crush" (I hate that word) and I were alone and you could cut the tension with a knife. Like, you know when you and someone else basically like each other, but no one is saying anything? Yeah, basically, but more sexual. Also, he and I are not good at flirting. Our attempts at flirting sound like...It's Always Sunny dialogue. I'm not elaborating, we're just awkward.
There was another party hosted by my best friend's sister a little while later. Me and the crush were actually joking about sleeping with each other over text (think, "joking"), but...here's where it kinda went...awry. So his best friend, messages my best friend, and basically hints that...he wants to sleep with her. In essence...my "crush" had been discussing the potential of sleeping with me at this party with his best friend, so I guess they thought that my best friend would sleep with one of them, too. (I apologize for the terrible and confusing wording). And I was already getting apprehensive about pursuing anything with my crush, so this basically just...yeah, that kind of pushed it over the edge. I don't know. It made things weird and a little sad. Like, it made it into something very cheap. And I have nothing against hookups, but I really do have a bond with these guys and it just...made it sad.
After that, we were supposed to make plans (as a group) to have a movie night, but it never happened. It just kinda fizzled because of the prior disappointment. The crush and I were flirting over text and by then, he was extremely obviously aware I wanted more than friendship, but I think everything just mixed so poorly that I was like...nah, we're better off friends.
That's probably why I didn't update for a while. So many people liked the post and wished me luck and I hate disappointing people. Something I do want to note though is just...I didn't lose interest because of "social circles" or anything. We definitely don't have the same friends. We have a weird friendship, because, again (and I am not tooting my own horn), I'm a known "party girl" in this area and he plays D&D and goes to conventions, etc., but that never mattered to me. I always thought it was a little odd just because of those differences, but it never made me think any less of the potential. In fact, one of the things I liked most about him is that I could be myself with him and he never thought I was weird (and I do have a little of "weird" or more masculine-interests, that I don't ever have other girls to talk to about, so, you know...it's nice to have that).
It was more, like...the emotional differences. I said this in the previous post, but...as much as I love being friends with him, he does lack...emotional depth...and I'm pretty much all emotion. We both tend to be irresponsible people in general too and I just don't think I could be with someone who didn't provide me with some sort of stability, even if I enjoy their presence.
In that same sentiment, I should mention, I know he has emotional depth deep down. His best friend (who I'm also close with), mentioned that the only girl he's ever dated, he dated for years and she was pretty manipulative and emotionally abusive. I have some toxic tendencies like that. So it's not just about my fear that he isn't someone who I could rely on, it's that I'm also not someone I think he could count on. And especially knowing he's a friend that I've come to love and value, I couldn't go out with him and unintentionally hurt him like his last girlfriend did (in fact, I don't want to date anyone until I feel I've worked through a lot of problems I have within myself; I have what is likely an undiagnosed mood disorder).
And then, there's also the "if u/shesdumb wants to sleep with me, maybe you can sleep with u/shesdumb's best friend!" thing that hurt my feelings a little and overall made me realize — no matter how much I like someone, it doesn't matter if there are differences that just...won't make us compatible...and I still love him as a friend, but that kinda tipped the scale. Anyway...
At the end of the day, I'd still be with a guy like him (i.e. someone I can be myself with and someone who makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts). But just not him in specific. I love his family and I love spending time with him, but I think I was probably just looking too deeply into something that isn't there and though I'm not perfect, he made it evident to me that this was not something that was going to work out. Evident that he wasn't suitable for me to date, and I'm not suitable for him either.
Sorry if this disappointed anyone :( I know I saw a few guys saying my post "gave them hope", which is sweet, and I have to remind you...I'm just one person! And I still love "nerdy" guys. I love any guy who is just...so openly himself and so do so many other girls. Honestly. Don't be discouraged because I'm a flake. This very guy I'm speaking about is probably going to end up with a stone-cold fox and I know that because he's hilarious and nothing is sexier than a good sense of humor. Just look at Hollywood. Actually, when we went to school together, a crazy-hot girl in my class mentioned wanting to hook-up with him just because he's that charming and ridiculously funny. So, you're not alone. I'm going to see him 10 years from now with a supermodel or something.
That's all for now...who knows, though. Maybe I'll have another update at some point. You never know. If anything at all was confusing, I'll answer any questions anyone has for me. Especially considering how long and disjointed this was...thanks for listening!
submitted by shesdumb to u/shesdumb [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 03:13 LetsRead_YouTube Backpacker Arson

On the 23 rd of June of the year 200, at around one o’clock in the morning, a guest at Childers Palace Backpackers Hostel in Queensland, Australia, found themselves stirring from their sleep. Bleary eyed and confused, they were initially annoyed that they could hear some kind of banging sound coming from the hall outside, and wondered just who could be inconsiderate enough to make so much noise in the middle of the night. But as they sat up in bed, they detected the scent of something distinct in the air around them, what might have been comforting if they’d known there were log fireplaces present in the hostel. Only there weren’t, and the smell of burning wood was accompanied by thick, black smoke trickling into the room from the crack underneath the door frame. As the guest threw himself out of bed, and shook awake his girlfriend who was sleeping in the bottom bunk, the realization only really hit him as the words passed his lips. “Get up, get up, the hostel is on fire!”
As the pair attempted to escape the building, crawling on their hands and knees to avoid inhaling the deadly black smoke, they pounded on the doors of their neighbours in an attempt to save as many lives as they could. There were no fire alarms blaring to warn the guests that anything was wrong, guests were only roused from their sleep by the warnings of others, and for some of them, those warnings came far too late. It was later reported that the hostel’s owner had actually installed fire alarms in the building, but they had all been deactivated in the weeks prior to the fire due to the systems malfunctioning, which had caused numerous false alarms. To compensate, the hostel’s owner had placed fire notes on the walls of the building, which showed the best escape route, and it was these that allowed the surviving guests to navigate their way out of the burning building. But the Palace Backpackers Hostel was a 100-year-old, two-story timber building, and the fire spread through the old, wooden structure with terrifying speed. The guest and his girlfriend fought their way out onto a first floor balcony, and luckily it was not too high of a jump, so they leapt to safety onto the ground below them, tucking and rolling as they landed to ensure they were not injured in the fall. They found their feet, and looked back onto the chaotic scene behind them. Those that couldn’t fight their way down to ground floor exits were forced to leap from balconies and windows onto the rooves of neighbouring buildings. Some were too weak to make the jumps, and landed in heaps of broken bones, their scream of pain only adding to the frenzy of flame and smoke. Around seventy backpackers managed to escape the hostel that night, with only ten of them suffering minor burns. The final escapees only managed to do so by the swift arrival of the local fire department, who raised ladders to the top floors in order for those trapped by the flames to climb down. However, fifteen backpackers, from all over the world, were not so lucky.
Immediately after the fire, residents of the local town of Childers donated food, blankets and backpacks to the survivors. A picnic bench in front of the building became something of a shrine to those lost in the fire, complete with flowers, heartfelt letters from those that survived, and fruit from the local farms. Twenty of the survivors returned a few days later to hold an impromptu memorial service with a local Catholic priest at the shrine. The service was broadcast all over the world, and made a huge impact in the news media. So much so, that Princess Ann of the British Royal Family visited Childers on the 2 nd of July, just a week after the blaze, to offer emotional support for the surviving backpackers and others involved in the disaster.
The surviving backpackers were taken to a nearby Cultural Centre that had the facilities to accommodate them, where they were subsequently questioned by local firefighters as to how the blaze could have started. Many of the survivors told them that they had simply woken up in the middle of the chaos, and had no idea how the fire could have started. There were no exposed flames, no candles or fireplaces in the entire hostel. But one survivor came forward with information regarding a strange figure who had been hanging around outside in the wee small hours of the morning, shortly before the flames ripped through the building. The guest told firefighters how he had woken up just after midnight to use the bathroom, when they had seen somebody standing outside by a burning trashcan. After noticing they were being watched, the figure extinguished the fire and the guest went back to bed, only to be awakened again about an hour later to banging sounds, shouting, and black smoke. The investigation quickly shifted from focussing on an accidental fire, to one of deliberate arson, and guests were then questioned by the police regarding any unusual characters that had been hanging around the hostel. Many then mentioned an aggressive local fruit picker by the name of Robert Long, who had been involved in a couple of run ins with his fellow guests, and was said to have a general distain for backpackers and tourists. Investigators also discovered that thirty eight year old Long had recently been evicted from the hostel after falling behind on the rent, and had vowed some form of revenge against the owners, although it as assumed that it was all just blustering and that he didn’t have it in him to actually seek retribution.
Police then publically announced that they wished to question Robert Long regarding with involvement with the fire, and asked the general public to come forward if they happened to know of his whereabouts. Five days later, an anonymous caller quickly tipped off local authorities that Long was camped out in some bushland, less than twenty miles from the town where the blaze took place. Police then drove out to the area, searching with a police dog until they found the suspected arsonist’s campsite. They approached the man, calmly asking if they could ask him a few questions surrounding the nature of the fire, as well as the threats he’d made against the hostel in the days prior. Long denied he was ever there on the day of the fire, insisting he had left the hostel on good terms and that the owners were trying
to make some kind of scapegoat out of him. But this contradicted the stories of many of the survivors, and Police then told Long he was going to be arrested on suspicion of arson. After hearing this, Long took out a knife and threatened the lives of the arresting officers. The police dog that accompanied them was then set on the suspect, but Long slashed at the dog so badly that the dog retreated from him and collapsed into the dirt. The officers then followed up the dog attack, trying to subdue the knife wielding arson suspect before he could manage to escape. One of the officers was stabbed in the chin during the arrest, and was extremely lucky that Long didn’t find their jugular vein. It was then that the other officer took out their sidearm, took aim, and put a bullet into Long’s shoulder to send him crashing to the ground, disarming him of the knife in the process. He then put handcuffs on the wounded suspect, and dragged him to the waiting police car so he could be taken into custody. All while his colleague tried to them the bleeding from their own wound, while comforting the injured police dog.
Just less than two years later, in March of 2002, Robert Long was found guilty of two charges of murder and arson, and then sentenced to life in prison by a jury of his peers. The trial judge said Long should serve a minimum of twenty years in jail for his “callous and cruel” crime. Although fifteen individuals died in the fire, Long had only been charged with two deaths in order to expedite the proceedings and to allow for other charges to be brought in the event of an acquittal. Shockingly enough, and in the face of overwhelming evidence, Long actually insisted on his innocence and quickly lodged an appeal, which was thankfully swiftly denied. However, in June of this year, Long became eligible for parole, although there has been no news regarding any parole hearings or any subsequent release date being confirmed.
As a tribute to those who lost their lives in such a senseless act of premeditated violence, Sydney artist Josonia Palaitis was commissioned to paint portraits of those who died in the fire. Josonia said it was “the most technically challenging and emotionally charged portrait I've ever undertaken”. Perhaps the artist's greatest challenge was to do the victim’s appearances justice, given that all she had were photos of them provided by their families. It was a painstaking process, but Josonia managed to arrange them in realistic poses, while maintaining the precise images from the photos. The background was researched by her to be typical of the Childers area fields where they had worked picking crops. It was a fitting tribute to the poor, unfortunate souls that ended up trapped in the Childers Palace Backpackers Hostel on the night it burned down. A horrifying avoidable tragedy perpetrated by a callous, evil man, who took the lives of fifteen innocents in a selfish, childish fit of rage.
submitted by LetsRead_YouTube to LetsReadOfficial [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 01:53 GoatLegRedux Steve Hammer on Haworthia cultivation. Taken from Bayer’s “Haworthia Revisited”, 1999

Bear with me, as I used a text translation app to copy all of this without tediously copying the text word for word. This will be pinned to the sidebar once I get a chance to add it. Stick for now.
1999-Contributed by S.A. Hammer.
Haworthia is a diverse genus in many respects, not the least in the varied horticultural requirements of its species. Most of these can adapt to widely different styles of growing and almost all of them are easy to grow badly. A few seem universally fussy about what they need in order to grow well. It is therefore unsatisfactory to generalize, but perhaps a few points can usefully be made here. Some of the practices I discuss here are idiosyncratic, but they do work for me and can be assessed against, or added to, other methods which also work. It is fortunate that there are now so many keen people working with the genus horticulturally.
Roots are at the heart of the matter. I sometimes tell myself that I do not grow plants, I foster root systems; and while this may be only semantic, it does encourage me constantly to consider root health. Roots are of course hidden from view, but an experienced cultivator can glance at a potted haworthia and obtain a good idea of root health. Healthy roots anchor the plants firmly and symmetrically, they absorb large amounts of water quickly, and they do not rot, although they die off periodically and systematically. Excessive root loss is taxing, but it is true that haworthias can regenerate roots with amazing speed. Not all haworthias have the same type of roots; consider the fat, stilt-like, long-lasting roots of H. truncata versus the finer stringy roots of H. venosa.
Roots are affected by many factors: the richness, acidity, tannic content, texture and aeration of potting media; the watering regime (depth and rhythm); and heat. The latter factor is critical. If certain species need heavy shade (H. pulchella is a good example), it is not so much that their leaves cannot endure bright light as that their roots cannot function well if they dry out quickly, as happens, of course, in bright and hot situations. Some plants have trouble establishing new roots in a hot environment. For example, a repotted H. angustifolia will re-establish very well below the bench, and can then be introduced to higher light; but it will have great difficulty if introduced to strong light before root formation is secure. Why not grow them all in the shade? In a sense that would be safer, and I have tried it, but the results are generally unattractive; leaves bloat and turn a dull camouflage green, compactness is impossible, and (with some species) rot is more likely. Even worse, the species begin to look alike! Cultivation should emphasize the individuality of plants, not mask it. So it is usually good to give haworthias as much light as they can tolerate without risking root loss, tip burn, or the desperately self-shading bunched-in look that says: help! A bright and cool ambience is ideal. Bright = light strong enough to keep lithops looking like newly-risen toadstools; cool = under 30 degrees Celsius, though plants will certainly tolerate far higher temperatures. Some species will tolerate frost, but it is better to avoid temperatures below 5 degrees Celsius. In any case, good air movement is vital.
One of the main difficulties with Haworthias is that they do not readily wilt or wrinkle; they do not give one an immediate signal of their needs. This delayed response always puts one at a remove from the plant's condition, it is like reading last year's newspaper. It is true that a heavy watering is quickly followed by obvious swelling and glossiness, but the effects (which are often cumulative) of subtler factors - misting, light feeding, adjustment of fertilizer ratios, slight changes of position, repotting, leaf removal, and, especially root loss - take longer to manifest themselves.
A virtuoso grower, Bob Kent, once told me that lasts month’ sunlight = this month’s leaf colour. It took me long time to appreciate what he meant. Colour change can be so gradual as too imperceptible to an ardent daily viewer, and it can be positive (an increase in the reddish tints which attract most of us) or negative (reddish tints are also often indicative of stress).
Haworthias burn in an obvious way only if they are suddenly introduced to a grossly brighter environment. They may, however, darken quickly if they are moved from dull quarters to a situation in which more ultraviolet is available; they may turn nearly black overnight. This is not burning, exactly but it can compromise plants all the same. Certainly slows them down. As a corollary to Kents observation, I would add that last year's feedings = this year's beauty; the effects on symmetry (and on the expression of leaf patterns) are that long-lasting. Should one feed at all? That partly depends on one's patience. But there is a sense in which feeding = strengthening. And there is no virtue in waiting four years for a starved seedling to mature, when a compact look can be obtained in one-quarter the time, via dilute but frequent doses of low- nitrogen fertilizer! Such feeding will also improve flowering and seed-set on mature plants. It will, however, encourage offsetting which can be excessive.
Soil mixtures have caused infinite anxiety. Many growers change their mixtures every few years and find that nothing works equally well for everything. Nothing can: roots and needs are too diverse, but one can adjust proportions here and there. A light mixture (i.e. fine-textured humus plus inert drainage material like pumice, gravel, perlite, or clay aggregate) is open in texture and will require frequent wetting. A heavy mixture (i.e., loam + sand + drainage material) stays wet for a long time, which can be an advantage in dry warm climate, a fatal liability in a damp one. People who love the act of watering, for whom watering is synonymous with plant enjoyment, should either use a light mix or or employ a hand mister frequently to avoid the hose. But it remains true that Haworthias will adapt to a wide range of potting media as long as the grower adapts with them.
For sowing I use a commercial sowing medium (peat moss treated to improve its wettability + a little sand + vermiculite) which I cut with an equal part of fine-screened pumice (> 2 mm diameter) or perlite. I sterilize the mixture in the microwave and bleach the pots; this is tedious but it pays off. I fill the pots, tamp firmly, sow the seeds, and cover with a thin layer of grit. I sow the seeds in small pots, up to 100 seeds per pot. I prefer very small plastic pots (30 x 30 x 30 mm); these dry out quickly, which means that I can water them frequently and thus administer frequent doses of fertilizer. It is important not to sow so thickly that seeds cover each other, leading to a tangled chaos. I soak the sown pots in distilled water, draining them after being thoroughly saturated (an hour or so). The pots are placed ca. 15 cm under fluorescent lights which are never turned off, and are covered with tight-fitting plastic. The next day I make sure that the plastic shows a beaded film of moisture; if it does not, I mist the pots. After four days I remove the plastic, misting the pots twice a day thereafter. Germination should occur within a few more days, 6 - 14 from the time of sowing. After germination I mist the pots once a day but I avoid saturation; aeration in the soil is critical. A small fan kept on perpetually (along with the lights) helps to prevent damp-off and algal growth; the latter can also be stemmed by progressively mulching the seedlings. I transplant seedlings at the 4-5 leaf stage which usually occurs for me when they are ca. two months old; the unpotted seedlings are soaked in an hour-long bath of distilled water to which I add some Vitamin B1. I use the same medium as I used for sowing (though sterilization is unnecessary and particle size can be larger). If newly transplanted seedlings dry out, they will have a hard time re-root- ing, and of the soil mix may be difficult to re-wet.
Not all species have the same rate of growth, either as cuttings or seedlings. H. bruynsii is always slow, taking at least four years to reach flowering size from seed under my conditions. H. sordida, H. scabra and H. koelmaniorum are also slow although the latter can expand quite rapidly once it passes the juvenile stage. The retuse species are much faster and most can be in flower at 12- 18 months. H. bayeri and its ally H. truncata var, maughanii are quite slow, both pass through a tediously prolonged (and similar) juvenile stage in which they are not quite themselves. With all species, extra shading will promote seedling growth. Though this is at the expense of colour, that can quickly be re-gained. One should experiment with placement of seedlings; full morning exposure and afternoon shade are the obvious poles but many gradations between these states are possible. Seedlings (and adults) are highly responsive to changes in light and many troubles can be cured or courted by a simple shifting of pots.
Most haworthias will root from leaves. Thin leaves, e.g, those of H. arachnoidea, are very difficult to root, and firm ones, e.g. H. sordida, are slow, taking many months. Plump leaves and a bit of stem should be removed from depotted plants, dusted with fungicidal rooting powder, and placed in a sowing medium in a dim corner of the greenhouse. I mist them once a day, lightly; otherwise I ignore them. They should start to callous in a few weeks and root soon thereafter, but differentiation can take months. Incidentally, leaf removal is probably the least damaging way to collect material in the field if the mother plants are not disturbed by it.
Offsets also amount to propagation from leaves, but the plant itself does the work, forming plantlets at the base of leaves which are nearing the end of their term of duty. The plantlets can be removed as soon as they have an independent root system. Coring plants - scooping out the meristem, like removing the eyes on a potato - often results in proliferation from the basal leaves, but it is an ugly method. In another rather brutal method, which I mention only as an experiment, plants are subjected to a few hours just below freezing; this may kill them, or it may result in enormously increased offsetting.
Hybridization is not much touched on in this book, which focuses on species as they occur in nature. Here I will only mention that hybrids have a great potential for horticultural beauty and taxonomic confusion, possibly for some elucidation as well. Hybridization includes, of course, pollinating plants from different populations. When making hybrids, keep meticulous records (noting which species is the pollen parent, which is the unorthodox father), use the most attractive parents, pollinate for three or four days in a row, and don't give up if only a few seeds form.
To date the most attractive hybrids (attractive to me, anyway) have involved H. emelyae, H. magnifica and H. bayeri, but thousands of possible combinations have not been tried, especially when one considers those involving three or more already hybridized parents! Only a few of the hybrids in cultivation have great horticultural merit; the rest should probably be eaten or otherwise recycled.
Allied to hybridization in its artificiality, but more palatable to many growers, is the practice of selection. The plants are so variable in nature that they offer limitless scope. One can pollinate the most attractive examples of a species, the seedlings can be selected and back-crossed with the parents, and in this way many (any?) desired characteristics of form or colour can be reinforced. Of course, it can not be assumed that seedlings cultivated from material from a specific locality will represent those which would have survived selection processes in their natural state. Nor is it clear how long-lived haworthias can be, either in nature or cultivation, though well-favoured plants can probably live for centuries. The little amount of this work that I have done to date is most promising. It is simply a way of beating the natural odds. Whether or not these "artificial" beauties should still bear the data their grandparents came with is a good question; my own opinion is that they have crossed over from nature into art. Fortunately a good collection of Haworthia can represent both realms!
submitted by GoatLegRedux to haworthia [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 01:45 MrsFinger FAQ/Megathread for visitors and new & existing residents. Ask stuff here! All questions about living/working/budgeting/visiting should be asked here. (w/c 09/22/2020)

Hello, welcome to Long Beach!

Visiting us? Moving to study or work? Brief layover? Moving to a new part of Long Beach? Any small questions about life here, if you're new or been here your whole life, this is the place!

We get a lot of posts asking very similar questions so this post aims to address some of our most Frequently Asked Questions, and give you a place to ask for assistance.

Words from the City:

Hello new and/or potential future residents to Long Beach!
First off, download the GoLongBeach App! You can use it to report potholes and find contact info for all City Departments. For COVID related news you can find them in this thread which gets updated with the latest Press Releases. Additionally, you can go to our COVID website for all the latest numbers.
You can also sign up for the GoLongBeach Newsletter for City News delivered straight to your email. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter if that's your preferred social media platform.
- CityOfLongBeach

Where do I find rentals?

Realtor.com
Padmapper
Hotpads
Zillow
Craigslist, if you do your due diligence
Driving/walking through the neighborhood looking for "For Lease" or "For Rent" signs and inquiring with the owneproperty management

How do I get around?

To and from LAX: Flyaway shuttles from LAX to Downtown Long Beach. (General Site: https://www.flylax.com/flyaway

Uber and Lyft: This is pretty self-explanatory.

Metro A Line - Public Transportation - Formerly called the Blue Line. This is the Metro light rail line that connects Long Beach to much of the City of Los Angeles. General Site

Long Beach Transit - Public Transportation - Bus - This is pretty self-explanatory. General Site

Long Beach Aquabus/Aqualink - This is a ferry that sails from one end of the Long Beach waterfront to the other. General Site

Catalina Express - The boat ferries passengers from Downtown Long Beach to Catalina Island. General Site

What should I see and where are the non-touristy stuff and hidden gems?

History:

* Have breakfast or brunch on the Queen Mary (not exactly off the beaten path, but also not to be missed)
* Walk or bike down Long Beach, or book a Harbor Tour to learn more about the harbor and history of LBC
* Visit and tour Rancho Los Cerritos and/or Los Alamitos
* Walk around (or rent a boat and row around) Marine Stadium, home of Olympic rowing competitions, or watch a rowing competition (look up the rowers association or dragon boat racing competitions)
* Dinner (fancy) at Parker's Lighthouse or (less fancy) get a sunset view at the patio at Belmont Shore Brewery

Art:

* Visit MOLAA and the lesser known Pacific Islander art museum across the street.
* Grab a cup of coffee and catch some live music while admiring the art at Viento y Agua or Portfolio coffee houses
* Check out a 2nd Saturday art walk in the Arts District or First Friday's in Bixby Knolls, or visit a weekly Farmer's market (Tuesday nights at Cherry and Broadway is one)
* Book a date for two where you learn about clay and make your own cup/bowl/plate on a wheel at Clay on First
* Make a mosaic at Visionary Artware
* Do a walking tour of some of the murals and sculptures in Long Beach
* Shop for things uniquely local at Made in Long Beach
* Eat brunch or lunch at Claire's at the Long Beach Museum of Art
* Eat dinner at Lola's on 4th street, admire the locks art there, then shop Retro Row
* Catch a movie at the Art theater on 4th
* Watch a show at the Long Beach Playhouse.
* Listen to Jazz at Harvelle's

Way off the beaten path:

* Explore El Dorado Park and El Dorado Nature Center. If you go on a weekend, look up information on free archery lessons on the Olympic Archery field
* Grab some crazy ice cream flavors from Long Beach Creamery
* Rent a bike and travel the many bike paths throughout the city/beach/rivers
* Try out some instruments or record a song at Gilmore Music
* Browse records at any number of fantastic record stores
* Try Cambodian Cuisine (or any number of other amazing foods - from pho to bangers and mash to waffle sandwiches, we have it all.
* Go to the beach (seriously- not many people do)
* Visit the aquarium of the Pacific on a weekday afternoon (tip: they feed the big sharks outside at 2pm, and you can often find discounted tickets online, or see sharks and listen to live music outside on Friday's)
* Take the murder mystery paddle boat dinner cruise

Where should I live? What's x area like?

Bluff Park and Belmont Heights are about as lovely as Long Beach gets.

Bluff Heights is a really historic and charming residential neighborhood.

Alamitos Beach is gritty, charming, and has a youthful energy and a great proximity to other areas. Parking is notoriously bad here and most buildings and homes don’t come with parking.

Bixby Knolls is up towards the northwest side of the city and has some of the city’s most gorgeous Old Money residential areas, and a lot of new restaurants and businesses popping up. It almost feels like a whole other city separate from Long Beach.

The Eastern half of Long Beach (close to Cal State Long Beach) feels much more suburban and residential, and has nice areas like Los Altos and Recreation Park.

Downtown is overpriced and overrated, but it may be your thing.

Try to stay south of 4th St, and definitely south of 7th.

So much of this depends on where exactly your job is located or what vibe you want.

Is x area safe?

Long Beach is relatively safe but can change drastically block to block. Best areas to look for are about 4 blocks from the beach, Bixby Knolls, Belmont shore , east Long Beach by the university /605 freeway, and the area between signal hill / Bixby Knolls is nice.

The overall crime rate in Long Beach is 25% higher than the national average. For every 100,000 people, there are 8.86 daily crimes that occur in Long Beach. Long Beach is safer than 13% of the cities in the United States.

Crime Map of Long Beach More Information

Where can I watch the baseball/basketball/football/fight match?

Legends, Stache, R Bar, and Roundin' 3rd are good choices.

Where can I find parking?

Long Beach City's List: https://www.parklb.com/parking-lotsgarages/
App: https://en.parkopedia.com/parking/long_beach/?arriving=202005121730&leaving=202005121930
2 Hour Parking

Miscellaneous Questions:

Internet - Spectrum and Frontier are the top two. A lot of areas only have 1 or 2 options at most. Spectrum and Frontier are similar in quality with Spectrum maybe slightly coming out on top.
Here is a site that ranks them: https://www.highspeedinternet.com/ca/long-beach?zip=90814
Air Quality - https://www.iqair.com/us/usa/california/long-beach

Tips for posting:

Tell us about you - If you want us to suggest things for you to do then you need to give us a good idea of what you enjoy. Don't just say "I like music", say what type of music. Don't just say you want "somewhere nice to eat", say what type of cuisine you like (or don't like). The more specific you are the better, otherwise you'll just get pointed back to the generic guidebooks, blogs and our wiki (coming soon!).

Tell us your budget - If you're on a budget then tell us what it is and we can bear that in mind when making recommendations. There's no point in us coming up with ideas for things to do and places to eat if they'll clean out your wallet within the first 5 minutes. Saying you want something "cheap" isn't really helpful because what's cheap is entirely subjective.

Tell us where you'll be based - Let us know where you'll be staying so that we can give local recommendations.

Asking about hotels or hostels - We have homes here so know very little about what the hotels are like. Look on review websites such as TripAdvisor. However, if you say "I've been looking at these three hotels. Which do you think is the better location?" then that's the sort of thing we can answer.
submitted by MrsFinger to longbeach [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 01:30 houseandtechno Need help with documenting and gathering evidence for N20 Lawsuit. Legal tips?

What evidence would be best to document so I can send it in to BMW when the class action lawsuit gets finalized next year? Photos, mechanic notes? What meticulous documentation should I gather as I have my mechanic open up the failed engine? Can anybody with law background help me out with the best steps to take for evidence? BMW will not goodwill my N20 engine failure. Supposedly the class action lawsuit will be finalized in February of 2021. I found a used engine with 19K miles with a manufactured date that supposedly has the new updated Timing Chain updates and guides.
So right now my 528i is getting an engine swap at the indy mechanic. I am close to now paying out more money to the mechanic to open up the failed engine and pinpointing the failures. Something that my BMW dealership recommended me not doing due to the shards of metal found in the oil. And rightfully so because it would cost more than $1000+ to open up just PART of the engine. Luckily my indy mechanic will dissect the whole engine for a fraction of the price.
According to reimbursement schedule below, I may be reimbursed 55% of the incurred costs that I am paying out of pocket right now.
Please send me any tips.
Here is part of the settlement documentation
For vehicles over the 7 years/70,000 mile period but with less than 8 years/100,000 miles, if the work was performed at an authorized BMW Center the work will be reimbursed according to the following reimbursement schedule:

submitted by houseandtechno to BmwTech [link] [comments]


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